Tides

Chapter 9- Apollo

I was curled up on Praxis bed, thinking over my options, when he knocked. Sighing I got up and opened the door an inch, knowing it would be him but not wanting to give it away. “What do you want?” I asked stubbornly when I saw his fake smile.

“To come into my cabin if that’s ok,” he replied far too cheerfully.

“If you cut the bull-shite then sure,” I told him turning around and walking back to the bed where I quickly lay down and closed my eyes.

“Apollo are you ok?” he asked sitting on the bed next to me.

“Are you doing it for me?” I asked him sadly.

“What?” He replied.

I sighed, “Going for Eric, your doing that for me aren’t you.” Opening one eye I saw him shrug. “For god’s sake!” I said. “You’re not doing it for the pardons, you don’t want them. You’re not doing it for money; you’ve got loads of it. So what the hell are you doing it for?”

He smiled sadly, “Maybe I’m doing it because I know it’s the right thing to do.”

I looked at him and cocked an eyebrow. “Because you’re such a good person,” I said sarcastically immediately regretting it when I saw him flinch but I didn’t take it back.

“Your right,” He said to me. “I’m not, but why do you care about it all anyway?”

“Don’t you get it?” I yelled at Praxis suddenly loosing my temper. “You could die! You could all die and who’d be responsible? Me, that’s who, I dragged you into this you know and now it’s my job to get you all out of this situation.”

“For god’s sake Apollo listen to yourself.” he said placing his hand on my shoulder as he looked me straight in the eye. “Just listen to what you’re saying. You can’t do this by yourself.”

“Please Praxis,” I said turning my face away from him. “Please just let me leave. Let me go by myself. Take Blair, take the crew and go as far away from all this as you can.”

Silently he laughed, “If I couldn’t bring myself to do it before Apollo there’s no way I can do that now.”

“But why not!” I said frustrated. “It’s not your fight.”

“Actually it is,” he told me. “Isobel is Rowen’s sister she’s fighting and so is he. Rowen is part of this crew as well as a friend to me so of course I’m going to help him win this fight any way I can.”

“Don’t do it,” I begged. “I couldn’t live with myself if any of you got hurt or worse, killed, because of me.”

“Of course you could,” Praxis scoffed. “Look it’s getting late, let’s sleep on it ok.”

I nodded, now knowing what I had to do. “Ok,” I said turning over on the bed suddenly finding myself tired. “Hey,” I said as he went to walk over to the chair where he’d been sleeping ever since I arrived on the ship. “It’s a pretty big bed you know.”

He smiled and nodded as he sat down in the chair, “I know.”

~~~

Silently I climbed out of the bed. Glancing back at Praxis asleep in his chair I sighed before slipping my boots on as quietly as I could.

I had to leave, he should understand that. He had to. Yet as I stood up something stopped me, just for a moment. Turning I smiled sadly at his sleeping form before going over, bending down and pushing his hair away from his closed eyes. On a sudden urge I planted a kiss on his forehead. “I’m sorry,” I whispered as I turned away and left.