Tides

Chapter 11- Apollo

I hated him, I truly did.

No, who am I kidding? I don’t hate him, I can’t.

Goddess, that look in his eyes. He cared about me, he really cares. Far too much, to much attachment is dangerous you know.

The worst bit was I felt it to.

What I saw in his eyes was simply a reflection of what I’d had to hide from him. The difference was he was being honest while I lied through my teeth.

We were sailing now, going towards Eric. Goddess Eric. He’d felt like that about me once, not that he’d ever done anything about it but I’d seen it in his eyes. While Orpheus lusted after me, the vilant need making his eyes glow with something almost like a hated desire whenever he saw me, Eric’s eyes would go soft and genital. He had always been nice, thoughtful. Never once had he tried to seduce me and yet he’d let me know how he felt in subtle ways.

Not like Praxis.

No, Praxis hadn’t been honest, he’d hid it until then. And yet that fear in his eyes, it was the kind of fear people get when their lives are about to be destroyed. I would understand if he cared, I think most people on this ship cared about me now, kind of like an unwanted pet that had given it’s self a certain fondness by attaching it’s self to a person. But that look was something beyond caring, and actually it was frightfully close to loving, to loosing something, someone he loved.

Love, me? Never. And yet that was exactly what that look had said.

Goddess when had that happened. He’d hid it well of course, and so had I. Yet neither of us could afford such a thing as love right now. Weather it happened on land or sea I would soon be dead and gone while he had a war to fight for the freedom of so many nations.

~~~

“Apollo,” Blair said sticking her head around the door into her cabin before coming in. “We’ll be there in a bit, you might want to get changed into something - presentable.”

“Thanks,” I sighed. Looking down at my still wet trousers I knew exactly who’s clothes I would end up wearing.

She pulled a bit of a face then, “What are you being so miserable for?”

“Hu? Ow nothing, really” I said trying to smile for her, reassure her that I was ok, that everything was ok. Goddess I had to convince myself first.

“God’s help you both!” She said coming over and looking me right in the eye. “You ran away, nearly died. Praxis was in a right state about it and so came to help you and now, well now the two of you aren’t talking.” She sighed pinching between her eyes momentarily. “You know what the worst part of this is? That the reason you both did what you did is because you love each other and it’s bloody frustrating to watch.”

Blinking I took in everything she’d just said before pushing as much of it as I could out of my other ear. “No, Blair that’s not it.”

“Yes it bloody well is,” She told me throwing her hand up in frustration. “And just for that you can go get your own clothes from his cabin.”

Pulling me up she quickly pushed me out of the door, locking it behind her before walking off in the opposite direction of where I wanted to go. Guess I was by myself then.

Great.

~~~

I stood outside his cabin knowing I’d have to knock eventually.

Goddess why was this so hard? I mean it was only Praxis after all, yere after all. After all of this I’d seen what he felt.

Taking a deep breath to steady and center myself I stepped towards the door and knocked. Seconds later it opened, without even saying anything Praxis just flung the door wider then went and sat back on his bed.