(MILES' POINT OF VIEW)
MIGHT WANNA PUT YOUR SEATBELTS ON, THIS ONE'S A BIT OF A ROLLER COASTER. ;)
_______________________________________
What have I fucking done?
I swear I screw everything up, every-fucking-thing. No matter what I do, I always end up hurting people in the process.
I knew this was going to happen eventually, that I'd have to see that look in her eyes, that look of pure hurt and betrayal.
The second I saw that icy, stone cold expression take over her body my heart shattered, it physically pained me to see her like that.
But I know what would hurt me even more is having to see her constantly being hurt by me and I know that's what will inevitably happen, I'm no good for her, she's been through so much already and she deserves someone that's able to keep her safe and protect her. I wish I could be all that for her, but sadly all I'm good for is disappointing people.
I know Drake's going to be coming for me sometime soon to punish me and I just wish he'd hurry the fuck up and get it over with because quite frankly I'm done.
I don't think she thought through what she was doing with him, he's one crazy bastard and she doesn't know the half of what he's like.
She wanted some fun out of it and nothing else, but now he's out for blood and let's just say the crazy prick isn't going to stop until his completely satisfied.
I don't know how I'm going to keep Trinity out of his reach when she's not even within my own reach, maybe I'll get Tom to find her and tell the twins and her to leave and go somewhere far away.
No, that wouldn't work. Tom and Sam would never leave me for dead. Trinity however, I have a feeling she'd like to throw me to the wolves the first chance she has. I don't blame her, our roles were reversed just months ago when she fell asleep on the hood of my car in the middle of no where.
It's been a week since she left, but it feels like a fucking decade for god's sake.
I just want to feel her in my arms, to hold her and know that everything's going to be okay even if it won't be, I want to be there for her when she wakes up in the middle of the night and cries her heart out because of her haunting past. I just want to know that she's safe so I can put my mind at ease and stop fidgeting all the time.
Tom's pissed at me, he heard every single bit of our argument the other night, hell, I think everyone in the entire neighbourhood heard us. Sam on the other hand has been trying to comfort me, however I'm not in the mood to receive sympathy at the moment.
Deciding that now would be a good time to have a shower since I haven't had one in four days and even I can barely stand the stench radiating off of me, I get to my feet and make my way over to the bathroom door.
Looking into the mirror I'm not entirely sure I'm seeing myself staring back at me. I've got large unattractive bags under my eyes, stubble trailing along my cheeks and chin, red bloodshot eyes and a large unhappy frown attached to my face.
It's amazing how that short, brown haired, blue eyed sleeping beauty managed to stumble into my life and change everything about it, including me. Before I met Trinity it was drugs, alcohol, fights and getting at home just before sun rise. With Trinity my life revolves around sex, late night cuddles and having deep meaningful conversations about the most meaningless bullshit.
My point is, when I'm with her I do everything with her. We become one and it's no longer like I'm in this fucked up world alone.
It's incredible how two completely destroyed heart broken people can come together to form one beautifully imperfect miracle.
I got to get my shit together, or at least try to.
I go over to the shower and turn on the tap, letting the steaming hot water begin to run.
A half hour later and I'm back to how I used to look before I turned into an ogre.
Sitting in the relaxing hot shower gave me time to think about what I'm going to do and I've now finally realised what I have to do.
I have to go face Drake and take what ever punishment he gives me and beg like a dog for him to leave Trinity alone.
Tying up my shoe laces I hear the bedroom door open and some body walk in, I look up to find Sam standing in the doorway looking at me with a puzzled expression. Pretending I don't notice his confusion, I begin to speak.
"Where's Tom? I couldn't see his car when I stuck my head out the window." I tell him, tying my other shoe.
"He uhhh went to go get some more milk, we're all out." Sam never was all that good at lying, never stopped the kid from trying though.
However I decide not to push it further as I'm not in the mood to argue at this point.
"So, where are you going?" He asks in a hesitant tone, obviously not used to seeing me out of bed, let alone showered, dressed and getting ready to go out.
"Oh you know, to help Tom get some milk." Is my smart ass reply.
What? I can't help it!
He rolls his eyes at my response and pushes further.
"I'm serious man, where are you going, do you want me to come?" He offers in a caring tone.
I exhale deeply while choosing my next words.
"Look man, you know you and Tom are my brothers and I'll never in a million years forget everything you guys have done for me, but there're just some things that I've got to go sort out and I won't let you or Tom help me with them. It's my bullshit that I got myself into and I'll be damned if I'm gonna drag the two of you into this. I love you bro, you know that right?" I ask him in a desperate, hopeful tone.
He nods his head unwillingly and pulls me in for a hug, a loving, departing hug and something tells me that Sam knows this could be the last time we see each other. It's a mystery that neither of us have broken down in tears yet.
The twins are most certainly a part of my family, a part of me and I know they feel the same towards me, however I know for a fact that he understood what I said about doing this alone and I'm thankful he's respected my wishes.
We part from the hug and I make my way over to the doors, grabbing my keys off the night stand.
Before I make my way through the door Sam calls my name.
I turn my head and look back towards him.
"I love you too Miles, try not to be too reckless." He says with a light laugh and that's when I notice a single drop of water fall from hid eye and onto his cheek.
With one last glance I walk out the door and make my way down the stairs towards the front door.
Time to finish what me and that rebellious little smart ass started.
_______________________________________
YOU ARE READING
The Rules Of Redemption
RomanceShe's been to hell and back. In constant battle with the demons that followed. Lost in her own world without any sense of direction, what if her prince charming has more than his fair share of loose screws himself?
