The Teenage Years: Read If You Dare

12. My Dark Story

                   I was the girl who everyone thought was fake. The over-positive girl, who was the smiley one and never gave up. But I heard what they said, about me being too good, having everything. They told me that there was nothing good in my life to be happy about. I was the nothing in the world, a piece of trash not that great. Darkness came in because I heard them, I was broken what was life without a happy ring. I listen to the bullying and the talk that was "Behind my back" that took place in front of me. I was that girl that could be pushed around, why because I was the goodie one, I couldn't say anything bad. I want to tell everything I knew, all their secrets that I held, every single truth that was hidden. I was the darkness inside, I wanted to die, to end all the pain inside of me. I was death in a shell of a person. I thought I could live on but I can't get what they said about me out of my head. I think about it when I meet new people, when I go to bed and when I like someone. One of the hardest things is I changed in a way that I never wanted, I know more people like me for being the fake person I am. My body is still hiding in the shell of that small girl. I lived through years of bullying and people telling me how to live life. I could have had them running for the hills and I still can but what person would I be if I did that? Who would win, I would but this is not what I want to win with. I won the lottery with the family I have, who every single day when I came crying home, would love me more and more. To my sister who didn't know what was happening but told me to never stop being strong. It wasn't the things about me that opened me up, they talked about you and how you were a stupid little girl, about how you never need to be here on the earth. About my parents and the disgrace of daughters we were. How could stupid people have horrible kids like us, we were the demons on this plant. I fought not for me, I fought for my mother and my father, for my sister, for every single bullied person I saw. I stopped bullying when I saw it, never stopped to think that no one would do this for me. I held my head up so that my friends who bullied me never got to hurt you in person. I would never let that happen to you. I am never going to stop fighting for you, no matter who you are. I was hurt in a way that I can't ever heal from, I am scarred in a place that can't heal. But I  know that I will heal you. I never want you to go under that horrible bridge.