One day, the second year in my new class, a new person entered the room. They looked for someone to sit next to, the table next to me was free. They were extraordinary to me. What a slim and beautiful faceshape, they are so pale which i like a lot. Their hair colour was soft and their eyes had an interesting colour, blue on the outside and yellow on the inside. They introduced themselves shyly and sat down the next table. I decided to be the one for them as my friends wih stunning locks was to me. I started to talk to them more and more. Little did i know what life planned for me.
Someday i suddenly realised that my fascination for this beautiful person wasnt only fascination but admiration. I started to want to grow closer to them so badly so i started to take interest in their interests. Months passed and we decided to do a sleepover. Getting bored easily we decided to go on omegle. Being dared to kiss we did, and i didnt feel anything. But i seemed to like being close to someone again. After all those years i havent had anyone as near to me as them. They became a very important person to me. With a lot of time distancing certain events we visited a convention. It was fun, but the most fun thing for me was watching them smile. Still it was just a desire and nothing like a feeling. Just not yet. I havent overcome my past yet.
"Ive met a boy from your older class, and he told me a few things about you" i read. A text from them. I felt like screaming. I felt like id suffocate and die on the spot. Like as if my past was standing right behind me and had their hands around my neck smiling devilishly. "Please dont tell me anything he said. Please dont talk to him i dont want you to find my past" i answered honestly. I received an answer in no time. "I have done stupid shit in my past as well!" they said "trust me there is nothing to be ashamed of".
This text changed me. I felt like im being understood. Finally. After years.
One time meting up, me and them talked about each other. I explained what i loved about them but they only laughed. I didnt understand. They explained that only i saw them this way and they see themselves plain and ugly as well. This remembered me of my internet buddy. They told me about how desirable my eye colour was for them since they had 'plain brown' eyes which i couldnt understand since brown eyes are beautiful to me. They (my classmate) explained what they loved about me and for the first time i actually listened to them. I always kept comparing myself to others i elaborated, but they interrupted me, telling me not to do that. I was beautiful in my own way and the right people will see the right things in me. I have things i can do well, but if i compare myself to other people i will never be able to see myself proud. I have talents i can work on, i have traits others dont have, for example long eyelashes. I realised that everyone is the protagonist of their own story and everyone had their own insecurities. And you may be the friend, antagonist or even love interest in another ones story. Everyone sees themselves in their own plain way, but others will see you differently. The right people will bring the best out of you. Be patient and i will guarantee happiness.
