I've spent two entire days writing this, it's the longest one-shot I've ever written (I think), at 2873 words. I really like how it turned out!
Suggested by: @PrincessPeach211
Dean's POV
I felt her hand slowly loosing grip on mine. Then, as I heard the first cry of my new baby girl, I felt the last squeeze of my beloved Amaia. Tears began to burn my eyes as I watched the last breath escape her lips. The doctors warned me this could happen, but I had not taken it seriously until now.
"I'm sorry for your loss, but here is your new bundle of joy" a nurse said as she handed me my new baby girl. It was as if she was trying to brush off the death of my long-time girlfriend with the birth of a new life. A new life that killed the person I was in love with. No, it was all my fault, not the baby's. It was I who created this life inside of Amaia, it was I who killed her.
Soon, I was asked my new baby girl's name for her birth certificate. "Erica Marie Winchester" was what I told the nurse. She nodded and again apologized for the loss of Amaia. Internally, I rolled my eyes. Why do people apologize when someone dies? They had nothing to do with the death. What do they apologize for?
Not long after that, I was able to go home. Erica was born a healthy baby girl, so they didn't have a reason to keep us there any longer. They also informed Amaia's family of her death. The funeral was probably being set up right now. I love Erica though, she is the only source of my joy at the moment. Taking care of her can be difficult, but it's worth it to see Amaia live in at least half of who Erica is and will become.
A few days later was Amaia's funeral. Of course I went, and I even took Erica with me. I let her grandparents see her and hold her. Before I knew it, she was being passed around Amaia's family. Everyone was praising her and talking to her, it was truly a wonderful sight to behold. That is, until again, someone apologized for my loss of Amaia. I politely said thank you, but it was the last straw of my ever building pain over the last few days. I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I locked myself in a stall and ended up crying in the privacy of the metal cubical, hoping nobody would come in, but I was at a funeral, so possibly nobody would be surprised.
Soon after I brought Erica home, Michael and Gabriel came to live with me for while to help out, especially when I have trouble coping with Amaia's death. They both know to walk on eggshells when I'm around.
"How long did they date?" Gabriel asked Michael.
"Dean and Amaia? They were together on and off for eight years. He was going to ask her to marry him" Michael replied.
I walked into the room at that moment, trying not to act like I heard them talking. They already knew though, I could tell by Gabriel's face that he knew he messed up.
"Dude, I'm sorry man, I didn't --"
"It's fine Gabriel" I mumbled, trying not to let my anger come through.
"Honestly I didn't know --"
"I said it's fine" I quietly whispered. Gabriel didn't say another word, and I excused myself to go back to my room.
It's now been six months. I can't believe Erica is already six months old. I feel like barely any time has passed. My depression has gotten slightly better, but now instead of being an empty shell, my anger has overtaken my life. I try, I really do try, but sometimes I end up yelling.
I shook the tiny teddy bear in front of Erica's small arms. She squealed and grabbed it off of me, making me smile. She threw it to the floor, then whimpered for me to pick it back up. I gave it back to her, and she repeated the action. I handed it to her once more, this time with a little bit more force. She threw it again. I could feel the anger rising in me at the repeated cycle of me giving and her throwing away.
