Behind Closed Doors

Maison

No one will miss you, I thought as I slipped further into my bathwater. The cuts on my arms stung as I lowered them into the water.

I closed my eyes and slowly started to drift to sleep.

For what seemed like a decade, I felt nothing. I only had one friend, who was like a brother to me. We shared everything together. My parents even let him sleep over when we were younger. That was before they got divorced. Afterwards, my mom moved away with her new family, and my dad was barely home, usually out drinking. Every time he did come home, though, I was to blame for his issues. Most nights, I'd end up bloodied and bruised. Every time, Jesse would come to the rescue.

He was sick - Jesse - with Leukemia. I'd go with him to chemo appointments, and everything was fine for a while... until it turned to shit. He ended up in the hospital permanently, and I basically lived there from that moment on. I would bring him board games and magazines that we would play. No matter what he needed, I was there for him, just like he was for me. Things just kept getting worse. He was pale, skin tinted yellow. He could barely keep his eyes open anymore. One day, I'd gotten him McDonald's, hoping to brighten his day. Walking down the hallway, I saw nurses and doctors running in and out of his room. I slipped my way through them and saw him convulsing on his bed. I dropped the food, and everything around me was quiet. Then, I heard it.

Flat line.

I ran to his bedside and stared at his lifeless body.

He can't leave me, I thought. He is all I have left.

Was.

The next week was his funeral. My dad got all dressed up to take me. I wore a black, laced dress and flats. Dad parked the car, and I got out slowly, his mom welcoming me with a half-hearted smile. I looked down at the shiny black casket, and I feel the sting of tears hitting my face. I had nothing. Jesse was my only friend. Now, he's gone.

Soon I'd be with him.

Soon.