Behind Closed Doors

Cassie

Why do I even try? It never works out anyway.

The thoughts kept running through my head.

Fat. That's all people see when they look at you. That's all you are.

I lifted my shirt in front of the mirror and turned to each side.

"Getting there," I whispered to myself, pulling my shirt back down.

I rummaged through my drawers, looking for a thick sweater, and at the bottom I noticed a photo. I flipped it over. It was Paul and I.

Paul was my boyfriend at 16.

Granted, at 16, I weighed 100 pounds, I thought to myself.

At 17, I'd gained 30 pounds. I was happy. Paul and I had been together for a year, and I was head over heels in love with everything about that boy.

Then, I was 18 and a whopping 150 pounds, still without a care in the world. Paul was 19 and had girls falling at his feet. All he had to do was say no. That's all he had to do.

One weekend, I'd been waiting on him. One weekend of every month, we went to the movies. It'd been a tradition for two years. I got tired of waiting for him, so I headed to his house to see if he'd overslept.

I pulled behind a strange car in the driveway. His parents weren't home - strange.

I let myself in and made my way to his bedroom. Music was loud as always, so I cracked the door open and saw them - Paul and some slut from calculus.

I didn't know what to do or what to say, so I turned off the music and wiped the tears from my face.

"What the fuck is this?" I asked.

That triggered it. I wanted my revenge, so I started to lose weight. I wanted to get my revenge body.

I looked into the mirror again at the bags under my eyes.

"You're slowly killing yourself," I heard a voice say from my doorway.

My best friend, Natalie, leaned against the wall. God, she was so pretty. Perfect.

"That was such a long time ago, C." She took the photo from me and pulled out her lighter, lighting it aflame and throwing it in my trashcan. "Forget that fuckhead."

I watched her, and I rubbed my temples.

"It's not that easy. I need him to know."

"To know you're not the same girl you were before," She mimicked, already knowing what I was going to say. "Cassie, you were 18. You can't even see the way we see you. I see a girl who lost her way after the love of the moment cheated on her on movie night."

I hated it when she joked like that.

I walked over to my closet and pulled on jeans and a t-shirt.

"Why'd it have to be me?" I turned and asked her.

"What?" She looked up from her phone, eyes scanning my outfit in approval.

"I mean, I get that my weight got a little out of hand, but I would have changed if he'd only mentioned it." I pulled a jacket and black Converse on and followed her out to the car.

"Not even gonna reply, are you?"

"Nope," she said slyly, pulling out of my driveway. "We're meeting someone there. I hope you don't mind." She smirked

I glared at her. "I haven't even done my makeup. You can see my chins," I stated plainly.

She giggled and pulled into the mall parking lot. We exited the car, and her boyfriend Matthew walked over and hugged us both. Following behind him was a tall, handsome figure.

"C, this is Andy, Matt's friend," Natalie said, smiling at me.

He held out his hand, and I took it politely. By now, my face was very red.

"Their descriptions of you did not give you enough credit." He winked. I shot a happy look at Nat and looked up at him.

"It's nice to meet you," I said, smiling.

Revenge can wait, I thought. There are more important matters for me to deal with.