Black & White

P14- What If

^ Me and my friends in that photo! ^
(I'm the girl in the middle with the flowery dress :3) We were in the bathroom for two hours getting ready for a dance!!!!

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Travis's POV
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The door opened, and two voices filled the living room. I was standing in the kitchen, fixing up a few tacos. The twist — the shells were cabbage leaves.

Zane walked into the kitchen, throwing his jacket on the barstool at the island. A shaky sigh left his lips as he sat down beside me, putting his head in his hands. I looked over at him, unsure of what to say. I didn't want to make him mad, based off of past family experiences. His hands were just barely shaking, as he lifted his head, staring at them.

He was muttering things to himself, gripping onto his sleeves. I would have asked what was up, but I hesitated. An awkward silence hung in the air, and I shifted uncomfortably. I felt stupid, not asking what was wrong, but.... "Um.. Wh-What's up?"

He didn't respond. I knew it.. --No! I won't brush it off! ..Not again.

I shook my head, and turned towards him. He didn't even flinch. I tilted his head up, forcing him to look at me.

"Look, I can't read your mind, but.. But please, tell me what's wrong. You.. Might feel better."

His eye was dull, showing nearly no emotion.

"I-I... d-don't worry about me, I'm f-fine."

Noticing the look on my face, he did something that astounded me. Even with tears in his eyes, he smiled.

"I'm okay."

He looked back down at the counter.
"Hey baby.... are you doing good?" his mother walked into the room. I recognized the voice from the angry phone call I answered earlier.

Zane nodded, lifting his head once again. He perked up, apparently pushing his other thoughts aside. His eye was still dull, but he tried to hide it. "Hey Travis, go wash some more cabbage leaves off — wait, where did you find all the ingredients..?"

"Pantry raid."

Zane nodded, and his mother laughed. I grinned, walking to one of the cabinets. I grabbed a bowl, then turned to the fridge.

Minutes later, we had fresh tacos. "Here mom, try one."  She obliged, accepting the plate Zane handed her. Zane smirked, throwing a hand towel at me. "You've got sour cream on your face," he remarked. I laughed, rubbing my face with the towel.

"Oh.. whats this? Some sort of cartoon?"
Zane's mother pulled an anime off the shelf.
Zane went paler than he already was, and raced towards her, grabbing the case from her hands. "Um.. yeah. You should look at this one instead..." he handed her a more kid-appropriate one.

I snickered at him, and put some plates in the sink. The dishwasher was already full, so I couldn't reload it.

"Let me do it, hot-shot."
Zane shoved me out of the way with his hip, pulling the dishwasher open and I fell to the floor. All the while his mom was giggling from afar.

While I was still sprawled out on the floor, Zane's mom walked out of the kitchen with her taco. I got back up and shoved Zane up against the counter, closing the dishwasher in the process.

"Hey, I know things are tough right now, and you might not want to talk about it. I just want you to know that I'm here for you."

I moved closer, our noses now touching, he responded. " I- It's nothing,  I'm fine..." He then pushed away, leaving me there with a stupid look on my face.

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Zane's POV
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**TRIGGER WARNING**
I raced up to my room, leaving Travis in the kitchen. It was a pretty jerk move, seeing as he was trying to comfort me. But, he didn't understand, and I didn't want to put that heavy of a burden on his shoulders. Why couldn't dad have just been a little more careful? Why did the stupid car have to catch fire?

I fumbled around in my top drawer. I knew this would upset Travis, but it helped. It was almost like a coping method. I think I read something on the internet about it.

Young teens do this as a way of relieving stress. When one is in a state of physical pain, the brain releases endorphins to create a state of calm.

Finally, I felt my finger tips glide over a thin piece of metal. I heaved a sigh and carefully picked it up, gently wrapping my fingers around it. I walked into the bathroom, closing and locking the door. I slid down to the floor, unclasping my hand staring at my worst enemy. Then again, this was also my best friend.

Tears rolled slowly down my face, vision blurred, I slid the blade across my wrist. I cut deep, and I was taking my time, channeling all of my pain into this small piece of metal. I almost stopped, but then I thought about my dad, all of the burns. I just couldn't stop.

Blood was running down my arm, forming a small red puddle on the floor. Just then, there was a rustling sound in my room. Was it... a drawer closing?

...Oh God...I forgot to close the drawer...

I heard footsteps getting closer to the bathroom door. I quickly threw a dark colored towel over the small puddle, and slowly pulled down my sleeves.

" Z-Zane...are you in th-there?"
"Y-yes. "
"Please open the door."
"I can't... please go, I'm fine. "
I heard Travis shuddering.
"O-okay, I'll come out. Just wait a minute, okay?"
I wiped up the blood, grimacing each time my sleeve brushed against my arm. I got up and flushed the toilet, trying to make it seem like I was only using the bathroom. I then went and washed my hands, also pouring water over my new... marks... It burned so much, I wanted to scream. I dried my hands and opened the door.

Travis was standing there, a concerned look on his face. "Z-Zane..." he rushed in and wrapped his arms around me, grabbing my arm and holding it against his chest. I let out a small squeak. " Zane, roll up your sleeves. "

"What? Wh-why?"
"Please?"
"No!" I declined quickly.
Travis took a step back, his face was bright red, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Why do you do this to yourself?!"

"I-I...." Travis stepped forward, and began rolling my sleeves up himself.

Hey guys... I can't make this a jokey A/N, because of how serious we got with this chapter. By 'we', I mean that I had a big help from Swallowtaildraws . Thanks to her, I had a full chapter this time. To anyone who has experienced what just happened, we both understand and have experienced it ourselves...so feel free to DM either of us if you need or want to talk. Remember, we love all of you guys, and have an awesome week, and or Spring Break.