three in the morning

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by lovelessdan

by lovelessdan

10/27/16
(read in the tune of dodie's pas de deux)

a telling of my experience with anxiety.

It's three in the morning,
and what am I doing?

I can't believe this;
it shouldn't exist,
this fear inside me.

I'm not well; I hate to admit.
These lines that I'm giving can't possibly make sense.

Shouldn't I be happy?
Isn't that the goal?
Shouldn't time be on my side as the future unfolds?

Except this isn't honest,
the knowledge it shares.
Life's never easy and I shouldn't compare.

No one is perfect, this I am sure.
Please don't give up, it's only a bump in my road I hope to overcome.

It's three in the morning,
and what do I do?

Instead of sleeping soundly,
I'm thinking of you.

How is this fair,
can you tell me that?

All I've wanted was to be happy;
I never even asked for you to attack.

Panic is coursing throughout my veins;
this surely isn't healthy, but I don't find it strange.

Everyone says that I'm faking,
that you are merely a figment trapped inside my head.

Oh if only; maybe then,
I wouldn't be filled with the utter most dread.

It's three in the morning,
and you've come to say hello.

I welcome you in, despite my questions surrounding it all.

You tell me it's been a while;
though in reality, it was only just yesterday that you decided to peek in.

"I'm not leaving you so easily,
you surely knew that;
after all my lovely
I always come back."

I hate to admit it,
but your words reign true.
It's nights like these
at three in the morning,
that I just can't find the strength to argue.