soft sounds from someone

series of incompletes (part 1)

(something i intended to slip into 'unravellings of a wallflower' which would've been in phil's point of view; despite how much i liked how it was written and wanted to cover that part of his character, i just couldn't find the right place for it and decided to move on and let it live in my phone's notes instead.)

To any unsuspecting person, it would be how my older brother was no longer living in our house since childhood (thanks to him actually taking the leap to escape this small town to go to a private university rather than the community college across town) that brought about this feeling of how this place I once loved to be welcomed to didn't feel like home anymore; if you ask me however what made this bubbling in my stomach occur while stepping through the same hallways I've made my existence known in since I could walk, the answer stems from a completely different issue.

I felt like such an outsider trespassing on grounds I grew up in because what was so harshly instilled in my system as right didn't stick around like superglue as it had with my brother, instead these values stayed with me like stickers: initially standing strong but as time went by and the tackiness was lost, they all fell into the abyss that was my mind as something I couldn't bring myself to believe were true anymore.

I guess what I get from this act of self awareness is that despite your family's best efforts, you won't be doomed to becoming an version of them; you can be your own person and that's okay.