I'm Still Lost

I'm Lost

It was the end of the world for me. My parents decided that we should go to Sears. Of course as a child, I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay with my toys, though it was futile.

I was dragged to the store like a sturdy doll. My mother grabbed onto my hand so tightly that I thought it would rip if I pulled away.

I looked around as we walked through the store. Everything seemed so grand compared to me. I tried to keep up with their long legs. They might've been related to Daddy-long-legs at the time.

Soon we came to an abrupt stop, but I didn't pay attention to my parents. I could only hear their voices as my eyes tried to devour everything they could see.

"Look at this." my mother's soothing voice said.

"What?" my father's baritone voice replied. "Well, it looks great on you. I'm gonna go and check in the men's section."

"Okay." mother answered.

I watched my father as he walked toward the men's clothes. My mother pulled my hand as we both went in deeper to the women's clothes. She let go of my hand, but I knew she was watching me out of the corner of her eye. She is a mother hawk when it comes to me.

I stayed next to her and was bored out of my mind. I was bored in a boring place where there was nothing but boredom. Then, out of nowhere, a stranger walked up to Mother.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Mother asked in a surprised voice.

"I'm looking for clothes to wear. Don't you see I have nothing to wear now?" answered the stranger, a woman with dark hair and eyes.

I used this chance to sneak away. I didn't go anywhere far away, I promise. I was looking around when I found a space under a rack of clothing. It was big enough just for me.

I went under and crouched down, so I could fit better. My hand touched the ice cold pole while my feet began to cramp. Then I thought I should show Mother.

I carefully got out and ran towards Mother. She was walking away, so I thought I should hide. I made sure to stay hidden as I went in front of her. I found another space, so I hid there.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would pop out of my chest any second. I thought she would be able to find me.

I waited and I waited and I still kept waiting. What's going on? The smell of freshly new clothes started to overwhelm me, along with a feeling of regret. Silently, I got out and looked around. She was gone. My heart seemed to beat even faster now. I looked around again, hoping my eyes deceived me as I turned. I still didn't see her. Suddenly, I heard something behind me. I turned a little to see something big and dark.

I ran.

I felt beads of sweat forming on my forehead. I didn't think it was possible but my chest started to hurt from all the pounding. I saw a scary monster that would swallow me whole if I didn't run away.

Where am I? Where am I? Where am I? Everything seemed to warp around me as I panicked. It felt as if I had run through a portal, only to find myself in another dimension that shouldn't exist. Perhaps the monster was the one who ran through a portal. I could feel the monster coming after me. 

I wasn't looking when I ran and bumped into someone. When I looked up I saw a woman in a blue shirt with black pants.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" she asked as she bent down in order to be at eye level with me. I knew she was only trying to help, but I was scared. For a while, I was frozen. Time seemed to stop as I thought of what was happening. What do I do? I don't want to be scared. I don't want to be alone. I don't want that monster to come and get me.

Within that moment, I decided to run away. I ran away from her as fast as I could. My breathing came in short pants now. My legs were sore and tired; I wanted nothing more than to collapse.

I could feel the monster right behind me. I felt it getting closer and closer and closer. I could feel its breath on the back of my neck. The sound of its claws hitting the floor with every step it took. I could see the flashes of black out of the corner of my eyes. It smelled of a rainy night and ashes mixed together. I felt it reaching out for me. I felt its hunger.

However, like a miracle, I ran into my father and wrapped my small, skinny arms around him. I looked around and tried to find the monster. Only, I couldn't find it. It disappeared. After that is a mystery I do not wish to solve. Now that I think about it, I can't help but realize one crucial thing.

The scary monster who kept chasing me was a feeling. That monster was the feeling I felt when I was lost. When I was a in a panic. When I was afraid. When I was lonely. When I was regretful. That is something I never want to experience again.

Although, it's futile. I can still feel that monster. The monster who never strays too far. I can still feel myself running away from that monster.

I'm lost. I'm still lost.