90 days to love (COMPLETED)

90 days to love - Chapter 11

I sigh and cross day 39 off my handmade calendar. 51 days to go and we've already completed both our missions for the Leto and for Carlisle. I gaze lovingly at the man I swore I would never be able to even tolerate. Although my glow has toned down, my affection for Jared has not. I love him, plain and simple.

Jared lies sprawled across the bed, his chest rising and falling slowly. His shirtless ripped torso is on full display as a result of all his tossing and turning. His coal black hair is designed in a way a bird would be proud of.

My room has become the designated bedroom for two reasons. The first reason is because Jared knew I would be too stubborn to come crawling to his door and therefore decided it was his obligation to unofficially move in. The second reason being that his presence calms me so I allow him to stay. By holding each other at night, it stops the nightmares for both of us. Mine are the memories of the Auctor and his he claims are of losing me, for a reason he refuses to say.

The Auctor is set to go on trial for attempted murder and now awaits his sentencing in the dungeon. The mere idea that he is stays within the same building as me is enough to set me screaming for hours. Only Jared makes it better.

"Give it back" Jared whines.

"What?" I implore. I try to remember taking anything of his as I turn my body to face him. I sigh with relief as I note his eyes remain sealed and that he is only sleep-talking. However his peaceful expression has disappeared and instead he appears worried and frightened. His whole body tightens.

Jared continues to murmur incoherent words. His jumbled speech alarms me as his voice becomes more distressed. I hop off the couch and scamper over to the bed quickly. His fists are balled and I lightly stroke his skin. He unconsciously flinches and rolls his body to the other side of the bed.

"Jared?" I ask. My voice is tight and worried. He moans and his arms flail; he gives the impression of pushing someone away.

"Lena? Why did you leave me?" He sounds heartbroken. My tear-ducts register the information before my brain does as a tear slips from my eye as he mumbles her name. I squeeze one of his clenched fists and he recoils from my touch.

"Lena are you here? Please come back to me" He begs forlornly, gripping onto the covers tightly. I wince at the pain in my heart. He wants her back. My emotions become out of control, as tears inagurately spill down my cheeks. 

He suddenly exhales before jolting upright, his eyes wide open and I'm snapped out of the haze. He blinks around, breathing heavily. He smiles at me and I know he's awake.

"Lara" He says breathlessly, clasping my hand. He beams at me, almost oblivious. He raises his eyebrows as he notices the droplet coursing down my cheek, his smile becoming more sombre. He cups my cheek in his hand and I close my eyes at his touch, revelling in the electricity passing through. 

"What's wrong?" He asks concernedly. His eyes search mine and I turn away from his touch and his questions.

"You were dreaming" I smile through my tears. "You asked for Lena to come back to you; you want her back".

He gasps, his expression horrified. He clutches my hand almost as if he's afraid I'll disintegrate. I attempt to swallow the lump in my throat, trying desperately to decide how I should feel about this. Jared rubs over his face with his hand and I can't help the second tear from trickling.

"Lara I don't know what to say. I promise you I have no feelings for-" He explains before I cut him off.

"Its alright; I'm alright" I choke. It's not fine but I cannot bring myself to hurt him no matter how afflicted I am. "I'm going to go"