Back To You

Chapter 6

"Um hey" I say awkwardly.

Blake just sits there frozen in his place. "I'm so sorry. I'll leave."

He goes to stand up but quickly, I push him down. "No you're fine. Just let me put some clothes on." Grabbing a random outfit, I run into the bathroom to get changed.

Little did I realize, I grabbed the shortest shorts that I own and a white tank top that was pretty much see through.

Nice job Bailey...

Sighing I walk out of the bathroom and see Blake looking at my photo collage on my wall. He looks visibly upset. "Why don't you have any pictures of me and you on here?

"It hurt too much." My voice came out sounding almost like a whisper. He turns around, and as soon as he sees what I'm wearing, I hear his sharp intake of breath. I thought I saw something in his eyes but as soon as it was there, it disappeared.

I didn't think he heard it but his reply came after a few minutes. "I am so sorry Bail. But if you would give me a chance, I would like to explain why I did what I did." Before I can say anything, he adds "please?"

I laugh at his addition, "Well I see you haven't lost your manners, have you?"

He just smiles a sad smile before looking down at his hands. "No. I guess I haven't. Would you mind if I start explaining?" He asked sincerely.

Shaking my head, I sit on my bed and pat the seat next to me, indicating that he should follow. He does and begins his story.

"When I got that phone call, I was so distressed. It was a huge modeling gig and I knew I couldn't pass it up but at the same time, I knew I would have to let you go." He sighs, running his fingers through his hair.

"I know you're thinking why couldn't we just have a relationship anyways, but I couldn't do that to you. They had no idea how long it would take and as soon as I just told you about the phone call you became worried.

"I knew that if I actually asked you to wait for me, you would have. You would have given up any chance of a normal life and been with me and I wanted you to have a normal life. I also knew it would hurt you for a little bit but I figured that the pros would outweigh the cons and you would have been fine. I never thought you would still be haunted by it four years afterwards.

"I am so sorry Bailey. I shouldn't have been an asshole and up and leave on our anniversary. I didn't even need to leave for a few more weeks but I didn't want to give you false hope on us. Hell, I didn't want to give myself false hope."

He paused and I took the time to look at his appearance. First, he looked so vulnerable. So weak. And my heart broke with every second I looked. Secondly, He was crying. I have never seen Blake cry before and honestly that thought upsets me even more.

He continued with tears running down his face. "Bail, these last four years have been hell for me. I ended up ruining my modeling career about two years ago. After losing so much weight,  because I wouldn't eat or sleep very much, my manager told me that we would need to stop the modeling for a while. I was depressed. Depressed about us. Depressed about my stupidity to leave. Depressed that you might be with someone else. I gave myself panic attacks almost 3 times a week and I was hospitalized numerous times.

"At this point, my mom had met a guy and they were hitting it off really well and I was happy for her. So she enrolled me in this school and I did my senior year there."

He looks up at me and gives another small smile. "I didn't want to come back home because I couldn't bear the thought of you in someone else's arms." After a few minutes of silence, he pleads "please, say something Bails. Anything."

I was shocked at all of his confessions. Speechless, I just put a finger up, indicating that I need a minute. Standing up I walked to the kitchen. The clock on the wall read 12:37 am and it was just then that I realized how tired I was. After grabbing two bottles of water, one for Blake and one for myself, I walk in to find Blake sitting in the same position with his head in his hands.

"Here." I say handing the water to him. He mutters a thanks before I start talking. "You should have told me Blake. I though that I meant nothing just for you to up and leave me just like that."

"And I'm so sorry for that Bailey." He cries. "I never meant to do anything this extreme."

I shake my head. He doesn't know everything I went though. The question is, do I tell him my biggest secret?

"Bailey, I still talk to some kids from our school. They said you left school for a few months after that. Why?" He asks sincerely and I know I can't tell him in his state.

Playing with my hands, I don't even have the guts to look at him, knowing the heartbreak and near death experience he put me through. "I can't." I whisper.

"Bailey. Please tell me something. You have no idea how ready I was to get on a plane and fly back to our town just to be with you again." He sighed, visibly this time and continued. "I heard many rumors Bails. And I want to know if any of them are true."

The Rumors.

They were all true. Sarah, who I thought was my best friend, went around telling everyone about my mental breakdown. They weren't rumors. But he didn't know that obviously.

"Blake, can we talk about those rumors another time? I don't think either of us are in our right minds to talk about them, especially if they are the ones that I'm thinking about." I whisper the last one, not thinking he heard it. I was wrong.

"No Bail." He cries and I know he knows the truth by the look in his eyes. "You didn't Bailey. Tell me they were all false."

I shake my head. "No Blake. They weren't."

He cries into his hands and then I realize, I'm crying.

Nobody but a few people knew what happened that one night after Blake left. My parents and Sarah. They were it. I didn't even tell Kasey.

"Why Bailey?" He looks at me grabbing my face to make me look at him. "Why?"

"I..." but I couldn't speak. My throat closed up. I couldn't breathe. Every emotion came back to me from that night.

All of a sudden everything went black and the last things I heard were Blake's cries.

***

And cue the threats and kidnapping.... just kidding.

Or am I?

Quote of the Day

"Sometimes the strongest people are the ones with the highest walls built."