THE GREATEST BOOK OUT THERE: AUSMERICA ONESHOTS

Glowing Dick 🍤

Alfred smirked as he double checked his and Kyle's bedroom, making sure the other wasn't there while he pulled his prank, if you could even call it that. When he was sure Kyle wasn't around he quickly switched out their regular condoms with these special glow in the dark ones. Good god was he gonna get a kick out of this. Anyway, when he was done, he hid the other condoms deep in his sock drawer. Actually putting some of them in the socks while he started dying on the inside.

Kyle was walking towards the bedroom where he figured his boyfriend was at. He was on a mission, not just any mission, a special mission. He was out for some ass. After searching all the rooms, he finally found his boyfriend sitting on the bed. Kyle put on his infamous 'I want something' grin and walked towards the American. "Hey Alfred~ How ya doing?" The Aussie sat down on the bed next to his lover, still smirking, trying to act innocent.

Alfred looked over and laughed. "Okay, what do you want?" Kyle fained a 'confused' look. "What do ya mean Alfie? Do I have to want something whenever I sit next to you?" "No, but you have that 'I want something, give it to me now' look." Alfred said with a pointed look.

Kyle tilted his head, "Now when do I ever make such a face?" He put both hands out Infront of him like you see a cat or dog do in cartoons. " Do I look like the type of person who would do that?" To add more affect, the Aussie stuck his lip out in a pathetic pout. "You hurt me deeply Alfie, I'm heartbroken." Kyle flopped down into his back dramatically and put an arm over his eyes and cried out, "I'm hurt!"

Alfred rolled his eyes and smirked as he pushed Kyle onto the bed and laid on him, using his deadweight since he wanted to be an asshole. "Don't say that unless you want me to flop Ky~" Alfred threatened, knowing that he could knock someone out or possible break something if he wasn't careful when he flopped on someone.

Kyle had to take a few breaths since the wind was knocked right out of him. He smirked anyways, "Oh look at you, Mr.Alpha, being all dominant like this." The Australian put his hands on Alfred's slightly pudgy waist and leaned up to kiss the short American.

Alfred rolled his eyes but kissed back anyway, not like he could resist anyhow. The kiss started out sweet and slow, but soon progressed to making out combined with ass grabbing and roaming hands. Alfred ran his hands across Kyle's chest and suddenly pulled away with a flushed but determined look. "I'm topping this time." With that he pinned Kyle's hands above the shocked brunette's head.

Kyle blinked in surprise, it was usually always him topping but hey, a little change never hurt anyone. The Aussie smirked, "Well OK, I guess I can let you top just this once." He mocked. Alfred rolled his eyes and got up, grabbing a condom and slipping it on as he walked over to the door to turn the light off. After he got the condom on and the lights taken care of, he turned around with his fists in his hips. Kyle looked down and there Alfred's dick was in all its glory, but something was different. It was glowing.

Kyle had this mixture of shock, horror, and amusement on his face and Alfred just lost it. The blonde fell to the ground, laughing his ass off. Tears even came to his eyes as he clutched his stomach. "Y-YOUR FACE! HOLY SHIT, THIS WAS SO WORTH IT!" Alfred gasped out and Kyle's expression went from the mixture of shock, horror and amusement to a blank expression, trying to register what was happening.

After a few moments,Kyle realized what what going on and shook his head, chuckling slightly as he sat up. "This is why I don't let you top,you fucking dork." Kyle looked down at Alfred who was on the ground about to die from laughing. The Aussie smiled and sighed, "I don't know what possessed you to buy glowing condoms.." he looked back at the glowing dick, "But you should have bought hot pink ones instead of yellow." Kyle joked as the American finally started to catch his breath.

"Well, they actually had rainbow ones, but I didn't have enough cash on me~" Alfred joked back as he sat up, slightly panting from his laughing fit. "Also, I don't know why I bought them either. I was just at Spencer's and saw them." He grinned and climbed back on the bed. "I hid the regular ones so glowing dicks until you find them~"

Kyle raised an eyebrow and shook his head again,"I swear to god if I open the freezer to get some ice and there are condoms in the cubes, I'm kicking you out." The Australian knew Alfred, and if there was something he could do to fuck with people, he would do it. But even if there were ice condoms, he couldn't kick Alfred out for three reasons. Kyle loved the freckled teen too much to do so, it was the middle of winter, and the house was Alfred's anyways.

"Aw man, why didn't I think of that!" Alfred exclaimed, cursing his stupidity. He could have gone over the top with this! But nooooo, he had to hide the condoms in his war zone of a sock drawer. He crawled on top of Kyle and nipped at his neck with a small giggle. "I love you though~"

~time skip over the smut because yours truly, Tsun, was too much of a pussy to write it~

Alfred and Kyle were cuddled up together under the warm blanket, still a little breathless from their activities. The snow storm outside had picked up sometime during the two's love making. Alfred ran his fingers through the Aussies soft, brunette hair as he started to fall asleep. The short American noticed the curtain was open and he glanced out the window and had too look back, thinking he saw a light. He was right, but it wasn't from the moon or a flash light, oh no. It was from a grill. Beside the grill was Matthew, Alfred's brother, in nothing but a red speedo. Matthews boyfriend, Gilbert, was also out there, but he was all bundled up in a thick coat,blanket,hat,gloves,and snow pants. The wind whipped around the two outside and Matt's hair was flying behind him and he looked kind of majestic, in a weird way. Matt suddenly snapped his head to look in the window and locked eyes with Alfred, who jumped slightly. The buff Canadian outside had a serious look on his face and mouthed, "Not this year,Bitch."

(I am proud of that last paragraph. And i can feel you all judging me for that picture but, HOLY SHIT SANGWOO IS HAWT IN GLASSES! I MEAN DAMN! )