Strands of Blue

Chapter 4: Beau

"Yeah, she's upstairs in our room." Ella said from downstairs. I was half awake.

"Al-pal!" Beau said before jumping up onto my bed. "Wake up! We have things to do today!" All I wanted to do then was to stuff my face under the pillows and fall back asleep.

"Go away, Beau. I'm trying to sleep." I responded in a grouchy tone.

"Hey, Alex!" Mom called. I heard her footsteps ascend up the staircase. "There's breakfast downstairs, and Beau is welcome to join," she said, smiling. I haven't seen her smile in a while.

What happened while I was gone yesterday? I asked myself. I look at Beau and noticed his chiseled facial structure and his silky brown hair. He had a small cut on his left cheek. Not thinking, I reached over to his face and grazed over it with my thumb.

"What are you doing, Al?" Beau asked.

"Where did this cut come from?" I asked. He shrugged disdainfully. I brushed it off as if I never saw it and got out of bed.

"Let's go eat, Beau." I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him downstairs. Ella gave me a strange look when I got downstairs. She looked agitated right before she stomped upstairs.

"Mom, what's wrong with El?" I asked. My mom turned to me and her smile was gone, ephemeral.

"It's your dad," she said. I sighed. Nothing new, I thought to myself. I turned to Beau and he looked down at me.

"Let's skip breakfast; I need to get out of here," I said, running upstairs to change. The window was open. It was obvious that El had gone out to our place, so I went to check up on her. She stared out at the the distance. Though I couldn't see her face, I could tell she'd been wiping away tears.

"El?" I called out to her. She looked at me with her red, tear-filled eyes.

"I want him out, Al. I need him out. I can't live in the same house as him knowing he doesn't care about me," she said. I reached my arms out to give her a hug and she began to cry harder. I felt bad for her, but my mind was emotionless. I was blank. I didn't cry with her. I just sat there, comforting her as best I could. I wasn't happy, sad, or angry. I was just blank. It was the same thing over and over again, and I wanted it to be over with.

Beau and I got in the car and we were off to our next destination.

"Where are we going, Beau?" I said, monotonously.

"Well, it isn't the best place in the world, but I need to get this over with," Beau replied. I started to get angry.

"That doesn't answer my question, Beau," I mumbled. The car ride was silent after that. I didn't know where he was taking me, but I made sure to observe everything so I could figure it out. I saw the old tree we used to climb as kids, the fire hydrant we sprayed painted gold for fun, and the abandoned warehouse we tagged. It was all so familiar. I looked over to see Beau upset. He looked the way I felt on the inside: blank.

"Beau, are you ok?" I asked. He didn't answer. He continued to drive. I was deeply concerned. He was usually full of excitement and joy. Beau parked next to another abandoned building and got out of the car. I got out and walked over to him.

"Beau, what's going on?" I asked. Tears strolled down his cheeks.

"I promise you I am six months clean, ok? There is something I need to show you." He grabbed my hand and walked me over to a few cardboard boxes.

"Listen, Al. Ever since we stopped talking, I've been buying drugs. I'd never use them though. I hid them here, staring at them for hours. I wanted to use them, but I'd think of you every time and stop myself. I need your help in trying to get rid of all of this," Beau said. I stared at him thinking about what to say, how to take care of the situation, how to help him. He walked over to the boxes and opened one. I was appalled at the amount of pill bottles I saw, full of different types of drugs, inside that box.

"What are we going to do with it?" I asked him. I started to think of all of the possibilities.

"I don't know, Al. I just need it gone. I need this weight off of my chest," Beau said. His voice was shaky. I could tell he was terrified.

"Beau, we need to be careful because if we get caught-"

"I know, Al!" He yelled at me. I took a few steps back to give him some space. He started to panic.

"What should we do, Al?" Beau asked. I walked over to him and I give him a hug.

"I don't know, Beau. Let's leave them here for tonight and I'll think about it, ok?" I hold him tighter. I could feel him shaking. I stood there for a while, telling him that it would all be ok.

"Beau, I'm going to drive us home, ok? You're a little emotional right now and I think it's best if I drive." I looked at him and wiped away his tears. I walked him to the passenger side of the car and took his keys from him. Before driving off, I sat there and made sure Beau was ok.

"It's all ok, Beau," I said in a reassuring voice. "All of it will be ok."

We made it back to my house where I took Beau upstairs and to the roof. I looked at him with sorry eyes. He looked back.

"I'm sorry, Al." Beau's voice was shaky and scratchy. He stared up at the sky and took a deep breath.

"I won't say that it's ok, because that's not true. This situation is pretty bad, but I will tell you that it will get better," I said, laying my head on his shoulder.

"No, the situation's bad because I'm a shitty person and all of this is my fault. You know that, Alex." He said, angrily.

"No, you aren't a shitty person. You didn't use for six months. That's a great thing in itself. You're Beau, and you're wonderful," I said. He looked at me for a moment, and then back at the sky.

"I'm Beau, and I'm wonderful." He sighed. "I'm ok."