I'm addicted to things I shouldn't be. I'm addicted to hurting myself. I'm addicted to being self destructive. Whether it's taking a really fucking hot shower. Or slicing my skin. Or not eating when I'm sad. I'm constantly analyzing things.
I'm unable to control some of the things that I do. And when I do t understand the way I'm feeling I get frustrated because I don't know why I feel the way I do. Usually when I feel bad the first thing I want to do is harm myself. I'm a temporary person. I never get to attached to someone. I move on very fast whether it's meeting a new friend and dropping a old one. Or meeting a old friend and dropping a newer one.
I hate my mind because I overthink. I'm afraid of not being able to breathe yet I keep smoking. I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to live yet I keep hurting myself. I'm afraid I'm not going to have any money yet I keep spending it. I'm afraid that I'm not going to have any friends yet I keep hurting them.
I used to think it suck to be in my skin. But now I realize it sucks to be in my mind. Because everyone can see your skin but only you can see your mind and try to understand it.
When I die in my dream I don't wake up because I want to be able to feel as if I'm dead for a little while. I like feeling as if I'm dead and I can't move. As if someone actually gives a fuck at least for a second. But when I wake up I'm face with the horrible truth that I'm not dead. And nobody gives a fuck.
YOU ARE READING
Silent stories from broken souls
AléatoireI don't really know where this story going to go.... but I will try and make it really interesting.. this is more like some of my thoughts turned into a " story " so I hope it turns out good
