Bizzle Imagines

Things have changed

  Naturally I was a shy girl. When I was in front of a boy, my heart beat is raised like a rabbit's. I was nervous about that always. Due to very this reason, I never had a boy friend. I was living at an apartment building, which situated in the housing scheme with my parents.One morning I saw a new family came for opposite apartment of our apartment house. And I saw an average looking boy who was smoking around there and helping his parents to handling the furniture to their new house. When I saw him for the first time, as usually my heart begun to rose, and I sweated all over my body. Time passed normally for weeks. Each and every time when I saw this boy, I felt a strange feeling about him.  Eventually I got a feeling to speak with this guy. But I never had a gut to do so or I didn’t have proper reason to do so. But one day I saw he was smoking at their balcony, and looking around. So I thought to go to our balcony and stay around, and then he might talk to me. It worked. At the first time, I was talking with a guy without sweating all over my body. He was a good guy, I thought myself. He respected me. Day became weeks, weeks became months… but he never asked me about a date. I thought he may have girl friend. But again I thought, “If so… he might visit her frequently”. But he didn’t. Then I thought, “Sometime he may not wants a girl like me”. But I wanted to go out with this man so badly. I was stuck with my dream world.  Time passed by 6 months. I was slowly wearing him down with my charm, and I was pouring my desires and my hopes on him eventually. But still he came back with "patience is a virtue", it’s like rock solid.  But I kept a promise me that I would have a date with him someday.But this waiting was killing me day by day. One evening, after finishing our balcony talks, he was about to go inside the house, then I yelled… “Wait…I..I…want…m…When can I ask a “date” from you?”Suddenly, I got quiet and flustered, mainly because never in a millions years would I say that to any man, but all I could think was that, this man must be worth it.He just smiled and said, "Whenever you want…Sarah….,"And he walked into his house. I smiled and walked back to mine. After 1 week of time, I asked about a date. I was shocked.“Sarah…I really sorry to tell you this, I really like you, you are such a charming girl…But the truth is…. once I had a girlfriend, we were in love so much.  She died with a terrible accident One year back. I merely survived with that. Then I couldn’t live there, always remembering the memories of her. When I go somewhere or when I do something….I feel cherish of memories of ours.  That’s why we moved to this place. I decided, not to marry anyone for my life. My parents also know about this. There is no place in my heart for another one. It’s still full of love with Karen. Still I’m trying to make my mind up…. I’m trying…god help me….”. Perhaps… I may not marry… forever. I don’t know …Sarah….I don’t know…..and I’m Sorry, I’m so sorry Sarah!!!”.I  saw his wilted eyes…those were filled up with tears….he might  have cried…I’m not sure….I couldn’t  bear that anymore….I ran in to my home and collapsed on to my bed . Then cried a river till my pillow soaked. I didn’t talk for two weeks with him. But I couldn’t stay without talking to him, anymore. I called him. Again he told me, how he sorry about all of this. Then time passed by months. I didn’t have a hope to go away from him though. I didn’t have a hope to stay with him, either. I really don’t know what to do… I can really understand how he feels about Keren. And his pain and his sorrow…his disappointed heart. It’s Because, I do the same feeling about him for entire my life time.