I don't regret a damn thing to what I said to my so called mother. I know she is going to tell dad so I am bound to hear an earful. I just can't deal with these people right now. I sure as hell don't want to go to some bullshit party with friends, either. Nothing changes, Loud headache causing music, girls who appear to be underdressed and think it's attractive. Guys dancing with girls with no common sense, drunkies and such. I don't want to deal with it right now. Even though I feel pretty much drunk off my ass but still.
I stared down at the picture frame and I slid it back under my bed carefully. I have had that pciture for years. I will be damned if I let it get destroyed by anything or anyone. Knocking on the door interrupted my thoughts. I ignored it and cluctched onto the can of beer and I sat on my bed. The door opened and Elizabeth walked in. I just avoided her gaze and looked elsewhere.
"Dean, are you okay?" She asked as she stepped towards me. I glared at her as she asked such a stupid question. I took two large gulps from the can and set it down on the nightstand.
"Do I look okay to you Elizabeth?Did you or did you not see what I did to that bitch you call a mother?"
'Dean, don't say that about your mother" She said walking towards me. I just shook my head violently.
'No, I don't give a damn I can say a bookload of shit about her and I don't even care..she brought me into this world but she sure as hell ain't taking me out of it so I don't give a damn. Im going to run my mouth wether she or anyone likes it or not"
She then moved and sat on the bed next to me. I moved to the other side of the bed and kept my distance. "You love her Dean you don't mean that" She looked with saddened eyes.
"Oh and you seem so damn sure on what I mean? Why the hell are you even in my damn room I don't like you and you sure as hell don't like me so why even bother?"
"Im in here to talk to you Dean! You act like you are the only person in the world who has lost someone!"
"Oh yeah? You seem like you have a problem/.Tell me who you have lost." I challenged.
She sighed. "My father left when I was younger. I barely knew him but I felt like I loved him or something and I expect him to come back"
"You can't love someone you barely even knew and that doesn't count. Yeah after your dad left your mom started drugs and you get abused at him, you already said that. Now she is in rehab to get help and to be a better person. At least the one you love is still alive. So don't try and compare to me and make me feel better. It just doesn't work" I said staring at her. She sat silently and I just shook my head.
I have a whole lot of things to say to her.
"You know what sucks? To know that the girl you are pracitcally in love with won't even talk to you? She despises me because of all the bullshit I have done. Yet she doesn't understand a damn thing about it. I do it to unleash the anger I have built up inside of me. Surprised that I haven't killed anyone yet. She doesn't want to see past the shit and come to me and ask. No she wants to follow every one elses opinion and stick to that. Everyone else is irrelevant because they don't know me. It's the lies they choose to make and know"
"Y-You love someone?" She asked.
I nodded not caring anymore. "Yes Elizabeth, I love someone. A guy like me loves someone. I am in love with your best friend Eva. Now she won't give me the time of day because all the pain and destruction I caused you. I try to make up for it but I am just not the guy. It will never work for me. I will never have the girl I love. I might as well just sit back and watch her run off into the sunset with guy and I just sit back in watch in my own dark cloud"
