BBC Sherlock Imagines

Moriarty x Reader | Theif

Description : You are a thief, and a pretty good one at that. One of your signature moves is kissing strangers as a distraction to steal their wallet, but what happens when you accidentally try it on a criminal mastermind?
Warnings : Swearing, Robbery, Death, the word 'Rape' is said.
Word Count : 1020
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"Good day." I say, wrapping up a stupid conversation I had with a stranger, just so I could take their necklace without them even noticing. I lace the diamond jewelry around my neck and trot along happily down the streets of London. I happen to be passing an outdoor cafe, and I tap a man's opposite shoulder so he will look away from his meal, then steal his coffee and sandwich. A few people notice, but they don't speak up. That's the thing with humans, they will often see violence but solemnly report it.

After a full day of walking around, chatting with strangers and leaving with their bags or their car keys, I finally decide it's time to leave. I pack my stolen items into the lovely new vehicle I now own, but my happiness is interrupted by my brain reminding me that I still need to pay my rent. I'm too tired to strike another boring conversation with my victim, and besides it's too late for banter, so I decide to go with the element of surprise. Looking down the night lit streets of the town, there are only a few wanderers. There's an average looking woman on the other side of the street, but she's already passed by now, and following her would look too suspicious in the evening with the emptiness of the streets. There's another man far ahead of me, but he's dressed poorly, is holding a cane and seems to be very elder so I'm guessing he doesn't have much for cash on him. Then I see there's a man about half a block away, walking towards me. He's wearing a dark suit, it seems to be Westwood by the look of it, very expensive. With the way he holds himself he comes off as  fairly wealthy looking. I puff out my chest and ruffle my hair, readying for my attack. He walks close to me and I can spot a square of leather peeking out his pocket, it's most likely his wallet. When he gets near enough, I tap his shoulder to grab his attention.

"Excuse me, Sir." I say, then I pull him to me with his tie, bringing him down to my level and connecting his lips with mine. I sneak the wallet out his pocket and shove it in my jacket pocket. I detach our lips and turn away from him swiftly.

"Fairwell." I sing, and wave to him. Usually when I use a surprise kiss to rob someone, the victim is too awestruck to react, giving me enough time to flee before they ask questions. But I feel a strong hand grab my wrist and pull me backwards. I turn to face the man again and he has an imperilling smile plastered on his quite enticing face.

"Ah ah ah.." He disciplines, laying his hand out in front of me, waiting for me to place his possession back onto it. I play, dumb, in hopes to just be able to get home soon.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, Mister."

"Don't play dumb with me, kitten."

I give him an offended look, and try to stomp off dramatically, but his grasp on me tightens.

"Just give me the wallet." He says.

"No." I state, spitting in his face. He wipes it off with his shirt, and looks back at me, there's an evil look coating his dark eyes.

"Then I'll just have to take it from you."

"You touch me I scream rape." He laughs at my comment, and I'm starting to get a bit freaked out.

"Darling, don't you know who I am?" He mumbles.

"Should I?" I say, trying to wriggle from his grip.

"Jim Moriarty, thanks for your time." He says, letting me go. He walks away and I see him put something in his pocket. When I look closer, I notice there's square indentations in his coat again, and I frantically check my pockets. The wallets gone. I scream at him and I can hear him laugh in the distance.

I'm on my way home, and I'm trying to remember why his name seems so familiar, Jim Moriarty... Maybe I saw it in the paper? Oh who am I kidding I don't read the newspaper.

I finally get back to my shitty apartment and step inside. The place seems a little messier than I left it, but it's probably nothing. I go over to my laptop so I can look him up. The search engine lists a million news sites when I enter his name. The headlines are jaw dropping.

'Criminal Mastermind, Jim Moriarty, Steals the Crown Jewels!'

'Countless Murders Caused by Elder Cabbie, his Dying word; MORIARTY!'

'Jim Moriarty Found DEAD on top of St. Bartholomew's Hospital!'

I slam the laptop shut and bring my hands to my head. Did I just try to fucking rob one of the most dangerous criminals alive? More importantly, how am I not dead! Why didn't he kill me? My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of my floor boards creaking. I don't need to think about what caused it, cause I already know.

"Miss me?" I hear a familiar Irish-kissed voice say.

"So. Criminal mastermind huh?" I say, turning to him. I stop abruptly and my heart skips a beat. He's leaning on the edge of my doorway, a gun pointed straight at me.

"Don't forget, murderer." He says. I hear a loud crack, then feel my body hit the ground with blistering force. My vision fades to black, and the last thing I hear are the fading sounds of footsteps leaving my apartment.

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Hey!

I'm actually so fucking happy with this one god I need to write more fanfic that ends in blood and not cheesy kisses.

May we meet again.

- S.W.