undeceived [novahd]

10

Aleks returned to his room near 10 after he was found sleeping in one of the pews. He hadn't the energy to pull his body all the way upstairs and frankly didn't want to keep James far from sight. However, he felt his body grow weak with exhaustion and knew he'd have to sleep at some point. So, he simply tucked his small teenage frame into one of the pews. It wasn't comfortable, but Aleks felt that it got the job done.

He didn't know how long he slept for, but once he heard the click of the light switch behind him, he sprung up—he'd always been a light sleeper. He nearly gave the matron a heart attack at his sudden appearance, and she made a mental note to quickly check the room before she locked up next time. Aleks made sure apologized thoroughly (as to make sure he sounded sweet when the matrons with advertise him to adopters) before he continued to his room like a scolded dog, tail between his legs. Luckily he managed to sneak a quick glance out the window, checking on James in the cold. However, to Aleks' misfortune, the boy was gone, and the swing he had once occupied was left swaying in the cold breeze without his weight. Suddenly Aleks felt very alone.

When he finally returned to his room, Aleks couldn't bare the thought of having to brush his teeth or change his clothes. He neither had the energy or the time to do so. Glancing at the clock on James' nightstand told him it was near 10:30—they were locked up for the night, despite James not being there. His heart ached at the fact. He didn't know where the older boy was or even if he was okay, but part of him did know that James was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. Although, that didn't mean Aleks wanted him to.

Aleks decided against sleeping in his worn clothes, but didn't change his mind about washing up before bed. He was exhausted, and he figured tight-fitting jeans probably wouldn't help him get a good night's rest. Although, he didn't know how much sleep he would get knowing that James wasn't there. But he forces himself to lay down anyways, taking deep and long breaths to calm his worried stomach. He wasn't sure how much time passed as he lay there or if he even slept at all during it, but he knew his eyes were forced open at the small thud he heard from outside.

"Fuck," Aleks listened to the voice curse. With a teasing roll of his eyes, he rolled out of bed to greet the mysterious boy outside. And as he guessed, there James was, sitting with his knees tucked to his chest and a hand rubbing the bruise forming on the back of his head. All the worried Aleks had diminished at the kind, yet apologetic, eyes staring up at him.

"Get the hell inside," Aleks ordered, struggling to keep his lips from forming into a smile. He had to stand his ground. James wasn't completely off the hook yet. He wanted answers, Aleks decided. "What the fuck were you thinking?" He whispered scold-fully as not to wake anyone up.

"I thought maybe you needed space. To think or whatever." James explained, sitting down on his own bed as Aleks turned the soft lamp.

"Dude, you live here. Were you planning on waiting there all night?" He demanded. Aleks swore that boy was the dumbest thing sometimes. Even after what happened, Aleks would never kick James out of their room. He didn't hold that authority.

"I guess." He shrugged. "I just didn't want to pressure you into something—even if it meant just thinking about me. I didn't want you to stress."

Aleks appreciated the sweetness behind it, but still found the idea so incredibly stupid. He chose not to think too much into it. James probably didn't feel very comfortable with Aleks either.

"What did you think would happen?" Aleks asked suddenly.

"Well, uh, I was just gonna grab clothes before you got up and shower in the morning–" James gestured towards dresser.

"The kiss." Aleks corrected. "Not the sleeping outside part."

"Oh." Oh was right. What was James hoping to happen? Aleks to jump woefully into his arms and for them to live happily ever after? He wasn't sure he wanted that. At least not yet. So, what was it? "I guess I just wasn't thinking. I wanted to do it. So, I did."

"Do you regret it?" He asked quietly, folding his hands into his lap.

"Is it gonna ruin our friendship?" James retorted after a second of thought.

Aleks had been thinking about that. While the kiss had been a changing factor, he did really enjoy James' company. But he knew it would be hard to move past, whatever direction they decide to take. However, Aleks felt that James was something—someone—he wanted to fight for. "No." He decided.

"Then, no. I don't regret it," Aleks heard the older boy swallow hard at that last statement, and the small action left his stomach in knots before James continued.

"Good." He blurted before he had the chance to stop himself. James' eyes shot up from the spot on his lap to meet Aleks' in confusion. "I don't regret it either," Aleks explained.

"Oh." James simply said, nodding understandingly.

Before Aleks could stop himself or even realize what he was doing, he got up and crouched down, before he scooted forward until his face was mere inches away from James', his hands falling on the older boy's knees. His heart pounded in his chest, and his mind was racing at a hundred miles per hour. He could turn back now, he thought, never speak to James again and forgot this ever happened. It was probably best. Aleks would be leaving soon. He was going to be adopted, and he would never see James ever again. But his heart ached at the idea of that.

James' eyes fell on to his own, searching for any clue about what was to happen next. And he watched as the boy's sight dropped to his lips instinctively, before quickly moving them back up. He had never gotten the chance to kiss back, Aleks reminded himself. That's why he's been obsessed with it. So, if he just did it now, out of pure curiosity, it'd be out of his system, he reasoned. That's all it was.

So, he kissed him.