What I had

•Eight•

~May 12th~

It's official, I'm addicted. I'm addicted to pain, inflicting pain on myself has become normal, I hate myself and what I've become. I told Kacey, I had to, she was disappointed and saddened for me. She wants me to stop so badly, I promised I would, but I won't, I can't. It's like a drug.

I saw Luke at the lockers today, he was with Abigail, Jake and Chris. I walked up to him and hugged him, told him that we needed to talk now, it has been nearly a week since we have spoken to one another. He agreed and we started to walk, anywhere. He started the speaking, like a robot with an automated message. "Look, Tani, I really love you, I do. I just think that you need to get yourself some help, some time to yourself. Just with your own thoughts." No. This cannot be happening right now. "Luke, are you breaking up with me?" I am praying he's not, this will break me. "Tani, think of it like a therapeutic getaway."
"No. You know what, if you don't want to date me anymore, that's fine. But why don't you just be a man and tell me, instead of telling me this bullshit story!"

I was so mad, upset and shocked at what had just happened that I just left in a huff, only to go and cry in coordinator central, alone. He was probably not extremely happy with dumping me, but it was his choice, no one else's. And I guess I should've seen it coming, I mean we hadn't talked in over a week. I don't blame him, at all.

I started walking home from school, but I needed to talk to Kace, right now. I pulled out my phone and begun listening to the rings; 1...............2...............3.........."hello" "Hey Kace, can we talk please." I questioned. "Yeah of course, come over to my place." So I did, where we talked, and talked, and talked about everything, until it was three in the morning and we decided to sleep before going to school.

The day dragged on, I avoided Luke and his gang, consisting of four people, like they were the plague. It was easy since Luke and I weren't together anymore and I wasn't that close to his friends, and not to mention the fact that Abigail threatened me on her first day, so I haven't ever spoken to her at all. The day still managed to be horrible though. I am so depressed over losing Luke and my father. My life was falling apart before my eyes.

...

2. Today I added to the collection, now there's 15.
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I know I said this chapter would be exciting and better than the last but I am not too sure that it was. Sorry again, I might change it in the future if I fell like that.