Loving you is easy 'cause you're beautiful
Making love with you is all I wanna do
Loving you is more than just a dream come true
And everything that I do is out of lovin' you...
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Never have I ever experienced something so unrealistically traumatizing like this. Losing the one you love the most to the thing you hate the most. Emotionally empty. Physically draining. Mentally disturbing. But in the real world nobody cares. If you're struggling who can really relate? Nobody. Keep to yourself. Struggle by yourself. Hustle by yourself. Prosper by yourself. Win by yourself. Because you did this on your own. I did this on my own.
Now if I take y'all back, I'm gonna need you to pay very close attention. I don't want you to miss anything important. Which is everything so read carefully.
It all starts in the first grade. It was a very great time in my life that I could never forget because that was the time I realized everything. I wasn't the kid that got excited to go out and play during recess or actually sleep during nap time. I was a very intellectual child. I liked to interact but also understand. The world is a dark place that you have to shine light on.
I realized that I didn't have to prefer the opposite sex in order to be like the fairy tales. Making strides across the streets of Oakland has really brought light to who I actually believe I am. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder they say. But I believe that beauty is in the eye of you. Whatever you consider beauty should be the standards you live by.
Black and white pictures were always painted around me by my grandfather around my house when I was younger. Never understood why because the rest of our house was colorful. There were paint splatters all over the walls and the kitchen was painted yellow, green and orange. Beautiful sight to behold. You feel very welcome and open. Vulnerable to new ideas. Takes the purest of souls to understand but the most open to teach.
One day when I was 15 I asked him why and he answers with a shrug of the shoulders and a "ion know". I had a feeling he was lying but I never argued with him.
But the next morning. Oh that morning was such a beautiful day. I walked outside to enjoy the garden my mother had left behind for me and I saw i girl sitting on the other side of the fence sniffing the flowers from in between the wires. She was beautiful. Skin like brown sugar and eyes like emeralds. A goddess in my eyes. Wondered if she felt the same way about herself.
"Hey!" I whisper-yelled across the garden. She immediately hid behind the bush in a corner. "No it's okay I wanted to talk to you." I said sensing her frightened demeanor. "I don't talk to strangers."
"But you're in my garden. Shouldn't be that much of a stranger to you now."
With that she walked from behind the bush. "Yes?"
"Wanna explain why you're in my garden?"
"Well, um your flowers were so pretty, I couldn't resist."
I picked out one of our pink roses and gave it to her. As I reached my hand out she flinched and fell back on the grass.
"Woah there, are you okay? It's just a flower."
"Uh, yeah. I'm gonna go back in my house. Have a nice day."
"Wait. Can you come back at the same time tomorrow?"
"Yeah sure. See you tomorrow."
I didn't see her the next day though or the day after that. Ever since that day I thought of her and her beautiful eyes. Not one day went by that I didn't think of her. Baffling seeing as though we made specific plans to see each other again.
The day I turned 17 was indescribable. Blurry vision clouded my memory trying to recall the events. But such a clear depiction of what should have happened. Since that day I never left her side and she never left mine. ................................................... Big surprise I guess lol. I honestly wasn't gonna stop rewriting books until I found one that really suited my liking. But I feel like this one is going to stay because I feel really connected to it. And if you see me lacking on updates please get on my ass because I don't wanna keep you guys waiting the whole time for an update. So yeah that's all I have to say. I'll keep the rest of the books up there just in case anyone wants to keep reading them. 😪💛
