Hopelessly Devoted

Chapter 14

Chapter 14
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        I woke up to someone shaking me, very harshly. My eyes popped open and I saw my mother glaring down at me.

"Mom?" I asked and tried to push her hands off of me. She shook me harder.

"You little bitch!" She yelled, clearly hysterical. She went to hit me, but I blocked it. I looked back up at her, mortified.

"Mom!" I screamed. "Mom! Your so fucking drunk!" I tried to get her to stop shaking me. I got out of my bed forcefully and pushed her on my bed. I started to cry.

When she landed on my bed, she looked up at me in disgust, black tears streaked her face as she gripped the empty bottle of alcohol.

"This is all your fault." She said.

"Wh-what?" I felt my heart plunge all the way down in my chest.

"Everything is your fault. You have been the world's worst daughter to me. I was struggling enough before, and then you decided to be a selfish little bitch and try to kill yourself, which cost me a fortune to get you fixed. Your the reason your dad died." She barked, and I started sobbing.

"Momma... y-your drunk," I spoke quietly.

"I didn't get the job," she said and looked at me like it was my fault also. She was right. Everything was my fault.

"It's okay, we'll find a way through it together." I said, holding back my tears to no avail. She glared back up at me.

"Get out of my house you little-"

"Okay," I said and cried even harder. I quickly threw on a sweatshirt on over my shirt and leggings which I slept in, and lazily pulled my hair into a messy bun in less than 10 seconds. "I'll go."

"Good."

"I'm sorry." I started to leave my room, crying even harder. She was drunk. But she was right.

"Get out of my life, too."

When she said this, I stopped breathing. I stood, stuck in my tracks. Tears poured from my eyes as my chest rested in my pelvis, forming that dark, painful void that felt so familiar.

"Okay," I whispered and ran downstairs, through the door, and into the car.

I checked the time, and I had about and hour before I had to be at Ashton's. I needed to apply makeup. I carried some extra makeup in my car, and it was paying off then.

When I was about to apply makeup, I looked in the mirror. I was completely and utterly disgusted with myself, and I couldn't see anyone other than a life ruiner and a murderer as I stared into my dull, ugly eyes.

I broke down sobbing, and rested my head in my hands. I cried for about 45 minutes straight, not getting any better. I eventually stopped myself long enough to calm down my tears.

I wiped my face off, and put on the smallest amount of concealer and mascara. That was all that I could do.

I weakly started the car, and started to drive to Eli's house.

When I made it to the house, I approached the door with deep breaths, trying to calm down my bloodshot eyes.

When Ashton opened the door, I looked down. I didn't want him to see me crying like this.

"Finally, your here... since when does being on time mean twenty freaking min-" he stopped himself when he saw me ducking my head down.

Seeming to have no choice, I looked up at him and smiled, knowing that he was too observant to have my fake smile fool him.