My crazy lovestory

Chapter 11: undiscovered feelings...

Did you know?, that when you have a man around you, be it a lover or just a friend, you gain this confidence ego.
Well, I don't know if it's just me.

Sitting across the table opposite Benjamin, I felt....calm. I don't really know how to describe it, but I just enjoy Benjamin's company. He's has this gentle way of reacting to things or situations and his smile.... I could just drown in them.

"are you enjoying the food? " he smiles at me with that school boy smile. Did he notice I wasn't really paying attention to the food but at him? Argghhh. I feel so mushy inside and it feels good. It's been so long have actually acted like a girl being taken care of. Should I act spoilt?.

"Uh.....the food is delicious." I respond with a smile. Should i be smiling so girlish-ly...on top Chinese fried rice and vegetables sauce that I can't remember it's name??. Oh well.

"I am so happy that you decided to come out on a date with me. I thought I was getting too close for comfort, that I bothered you." he grinned shyly.

Yes, I am happy. Unlike being at home with Tayo, who still hasn't spoken to me since last week saturday, he only speaks to me with just one word and that's it. Is it because I haven't properly apologized??? but he's not making it easy for me.
Well,  it's Friday and he isn't home. So, I can enjoy this date with Benjamin with an almost 'un-guilty' feeling.

"why does your expression keep changing?" his concerned face stared at me. " you don't like the food? Should I order dessert?.
"No, I'm really enjoying it." I take one heap spoon of rice into my mouth, smiling with my mouth full.  He chuckles at the sight of my stuffed face.

Why do I like this guy??

"Here, let me...." He stretches out his hand to wipe off a grain but I uncomfortably tilted back.  More like a reflex action.

OK.  I feel squishy weird.  This feels like the usual flaky moment out of a chick flick movie.  Ugh.  Should I be romantically involved with Benjamin?. Looking at it from a different view, he's my boss and once word reaches the school concerning the both of us, I or him might get fired.  And on the 'shaky' view,  he's the kind of guy I might like.  'MIGHT' that word feels very strong in my stomach. 

What do I do?

"I'm sorry." he retracts back to his sitting position. Did I hurt him?. I couldn't read his expression.

Uhm... Say something Alima, he is thinking you don't like him.

"So......I'm bad at remembering names of foreign foods but this is really good. " I smile to ease the little stiff moment. 
He smiled back which felt really warm. "No worries. You don't have to be Chinese to know that it's just beef-onion stir fry with special fried rice. I don't think it has a Chinese name on the menu." he chuckled a little. 

"hey, you are making fun of me." I  whined.  Damn should've know that.  He chuckled a bit louder this time.  He's really handsome when he smiles like that.

After eating, we had dessert and decided it was time to leave.  The atmosphere between us became more comfortable. I guess I am beginning to get really attracted to him. Strolling towards the parking lot, the warm breeze in our faces,  hmm this is a romantic scene.

"hmm. So do you bring your 'lady-friends' to expensive restaurants? Most especially Chinese?." I grinned. Since all I can do Is become flirty at this moment.  I mean, this slow walk to the car,  a guy n girl, possibly attracted to each other.....

"No. But you're the first."  he came close holding his gaze with mine. "and I've been  craving Chinese for a while now. "  we both laughed. "I'm honoured then. " I playfully did a courtesy while he bowed in appreciation. Then the atmosphere changed. His expression was different and it felt sensual.