First Base // Ryden

f i f t e e n

I was laying in my bed the night after the hospital visit. Another sleepless night. I was sad. Really, really sad. I couldn't stop thinking about Ryan and wondering if he was okay or not.

God I hope he's okay.

I hear a slight knock on the door. Who could that be? My parents aren't home alre-

"Brendon?" I hear my mom call softly from the other side, "Are you still awake honey?"

I don't know if i want to answer or not. what time is it? 4:18. Oh shit it is late.

I stay quiet. I don't know what they want to talk to me about so late at night.

I have nothing to say to either of them.

I hear my mom sigh on the other side of the door, "he's still sleeping." I assume she's talking to my dad. Their footsteps make the carpet creek underneath.

I can't do it.

I sit up quickly, "m-mom?" I try to get her attention.

The steps stop. My doorknob rattled gently, and soon opens revealing my parents in the doorway.

"I'm still awake." I stay in a quiet time. I cover my bare chest with my comforter, avoiding as much eye contact as possible.

The relationship I have with my parents is a rocky one. Since they both started working nights, I never saw them except on the weekends. They've also been arguing a hell of a lot more recently. Reason being I have no idea. Are they unhappy? Is one having an affair? Not enough money?

I couldn't tell you.

Of course they do like to come in my room in the middle of the night for some late night chats.

"Hey brendon.." my mom says slowly walking in sitting at the foot of my bed, my dad trailing behind her.

"What's up? You just got home right?" I asked looking back at the clock that now says 4:20. Ha.

Mom worked from 5 to 4 every weeknight as a nurse and dad was an architect from 5 to 5. The hours sucked but the hours and money was good for the three of us.

Being an only child, my parents attention were always on my. It's how I grew up. So, of course, once I got older, their work became more important, and I was just a responsibility.

It got lonely.

I consider Jon and Sarah like the siblings I never had. Hell even their families always treated me like I was one of them. Jon and his three brothers, Sarah's little brother and sister. It just proves family doesn't have to be biological.

I'm grateful for the little family I've been blessed with.

My mom puts her hand in my leg in a comforting matter, which interrupts my thoughts. "We've had things things that have been... sort of building up for awhile that we just can't hide from you anym-"

"Mom, don't drag this out. Please" I say softly.

My parents look at each other, then back to me. Their faces look droopy but somehow scared at the same time.

"We decided awhile back that maybe it's time we get a divorce." My mom says softly looking at me.

I look down, and I can feel my heart drop low. It's not like I didn't expect it. But it still hurts. A lot.

"Okay."

It's all I can let out. There's so much going through my head right now. So much they don't even know about.

"Now we know you're going to be moving out soon, and you're almost 18. Wow you're growing so fast." She seems to have interrupted her own train of thought. There's tears in her eyes now. "We just thought we should tell you."

My mom continues, "and.. I'm going to get some help." Now I'm confused. help?

"What do you mean help?" I asked.

My mom swallowed and looked over to my dad, who stayed quiet. My dad was like me, a quiet one that is.

"Well, for the past few months i've developed a real bad drinking problem. and it's really been impacting my job as your mother. So, i'm going to go get help." my mother explained. I nodded. She has been enjoying drinks a little more frequently.

Words didn't feel necessary at this point. But now, I felt there was a secret i needed to let out now.

What have I got to lose at this point?

"mom i'm gay." i say with no hesitation.

Now both of my parents are looking at me, but with reactions I didn't expect to see.

When i was growing up, both of my parents were strict mormons. They never really said their beliefs on homosexuality, but I always assumed they were bad.

Because that's what the church's said.

The reaction I got from my mom was totally unexpected. She didn't say anything. Just hugged me. She never hugs me.

"I'm so happy you feel comfortable enough to tell me." She whispered in the hug.

I felt a little awkward at this, but it was heartwarming.

Then it hits me.

All she wants is for me to accept her. As a mother, as a confident. She couldn't care if I was gay or not. All she wants is me to trust her as my mother.

"So, I guess for the time being you are ungrounded. You can have your phone and computer back. But I don't want to catch you sneaking out again." My mom said, which I gratefully accepted the negotiation.

"Thank you guys." I say quietly as they both begin to leave my room. and i'm left alone again for the night.

I was at peace with my parents for the first time in about 4 years.

{A/N: heyo, 2019 Jada here.

i'm rewriting the authors note because i have comments about this rewrite.

1) i detailed the history of brendon's family life a little more. it's something i wanted to do when i decided to do this rewrite. but i didn't want to go too into detail and make irrelevant statements. what did you guys think? let me know!

2) i didn't edit brendon's actual coming out because there are comments I wrote under there that i feel are important and i didn't want them to go away. coming out is different for everyone. this was just brendon's story that i've used from experience.

just know if you ever need to talk, my inbox is always open and i'd love to talk if you guys have anything to say! i am more than happy to help

happy pride 🏳️‍🌈

don't forget to smile :D

~J }