Game Over
I feel like there's a constant war going on in my head and the only way to win is to defeat myself but at the same time if I do that it's game over for me.
There's no other way to describe this depression.
It's like my mind is slowly killing me and driving me over the edge as I go insane.
Like every day is a battle to be okay and the only way to win is to lose.
Like my heart and soul are out of the equation as my brain takes control, as my thoughts take control.
Not the happy go Lucky little girl thoughts I wish I had.
The tricks and curses and names.
Those thoughts.
Those insults
As I lay here begging to be okay, to feel anything but empty, my thoughts start to slowly drown me.
I gasp for the air of happiness but my thoughts pull me under like a storm in the sea as I am the boat and am much too weak to make it back to shore.
I open my eyes and see what I want, what I feel I need, and yet it's too far to grasp but close enough to see.
This is what depression does to me.
It feels like I wake up with a hundred bags of sand on my weak body and I'm too small to move them off, so I stay in bed all day.
I close my blinds and let the darkness envelope my nearly dead body as I pity my family.
They live with me.
With this monster that only I can see.
I hide from the world as it's all just an avalanche of chaos and drama.
And somehow through it all, it never seems to be okay.
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The Aden Grey Poetry Contest
PoetrySo Aden, for those who didn't know him, loved poetry. He was the one to get me into it. The first poem I ever wrote was for him, about him. This is something I meant to do a while ago but I kept avoiding painful memories. This is a poetry contest of...
