Reality Check : : Barry Allen (REWRITING)

24

"Cara?" Ben? He's home early? Wow. This is a change.

"Hey. I'm in the kitchen." I call. He appears a few seconds later with a full shopping bag in his hands. "I was about to make myself some dinner. Want anything?" He shakes his head.

"No, I already brought us food. Come over to the table." He says, taking his bag to the table as I follow. Ben doesn't sit straight away though. Instead, he goes to the other side of the kitchen and gets two plates, two forks, a butcher's knife and a cutting board.

"How come you're home so early?" I ask as he comes back over to the table and starts getting everything out of the bags. Caesar salad, chicken and avocado. Aw.

"I realised I don't spend very much time with you, and I know it's been a lot for you to handle since you woke up two and a half weeks ago. I just thought it'd been nice if I came home and spent some time catching up with you a bit." It's official; I love Cara's Ben way more than mine.

"You got my favourite food." This is just too much. I can feel tears burning in my eyes, wanting to come out and run down my cheeks.

"Hey, it's mine too." He points out with a smile. He starts dishing out the salad. "So what do you do all day? I mean, since you don't work at the museum anymore and you can't really..." He trails off, glancing at my wheelchair before clearing his throat awkwardly and focusing back on the food.

"Um, mostly I watch TV or hang out with friends. I actually have quite a few of those, y'know?" I smile. He starts cutting the chicken.

"Uh, Levi and MJ mentioned that you might've been talking to yourself a bit. Is that true?" He asks, starting to sound like a concerned teacher.

"Of course; sometimes I need expert advice." I try to joke, but he just looks at me emotionlessly.

"I'm serious Cara." Damn okay.

I take a moment to gather my thoughts. I've contemplated what I would say to someone if they ever found me talking to Robin without a phone at my ear, but I'm not prepared to tell my brother about this.

Think of something Elise. Come on.

"You grieve by working, I grieve by talking to myself. Would you rather I stayed in bed and cried my eyes out all day every day?" I ask slowly. "Look, I know it's hard for you to look at me sitting in this thing all time because it just reminds you of what you've lost, but please try to remember that I lost our parents that day too. I'm the one who looks in a mirror every day and gets reminded of the fact that I'll never walk again and I'll never be with my parents again. I have to live with the memories of the accident and even the memories of that guy here the other night. So yes, I talk to myself. It helps me to feel like maybe I'm not so alone after all."

Ben's silent and I think maybe I was a little too harsh. I mostly just sounded sad, but I was a little bit too direct. That seems to happen a lot when I tell the truth in this world.

I just think it's strange for him to think that I'm okay. After everything I've been through in the past month, don't I have the right to be a little crazy? I mean, he should be concerned if I ever seem sane, not the other way around.

"I guess I've been keeping myself busy, so I haven't really thought about everything properly." He mutters, sliding me a plate of our favourite food. I mumble my gratitude and start eating.

For a while, we just eat in silence. And for the first time since I got here, my brother and I aren't so comfortable with each other. There's a tension, an awkwardness, that doesn't want to go away, and I think that's partly because neither of us seems to really want to face the fact that our parents are dead and the only family we have left is sitting right here at this table.