The pretender (An All Time Low Story)

Chapter Seven

****Abuse Warning***** It's not too bad but might be triggering in some cases.

Jesse's POV

Fuck. This wasn't going to be a good day. Coming into work for the first day with a black eye is definitely not the way to make a good impression.

PJ had calmed down, finally, and we were talking like nothing had happened. He had flipped out really harshly when I had come home last night. He had been calm at first, trying to be civil. That didn't last long.

As I opened the door, I heard a loud, annoyed groan. I set my bag on the table in the living room and walked over to the bathroom to take a shower before my “Talk” with PJ. When I realized that I had no clean towels in the bathroom, I figured out I was fucked. I'd have to go through PJ's room to get to his bathroom to get clean towels. As I started making my way to his room, I tried to keep a straight, calm face.

Knock Knock

“Never knock that fucking gay ever again. Come in NOW” I heard from the other side of the door. I was so fucked, he was already pissed. When I opened the door, he was already scowling.

“Um, can we have this talk later? I need to take a sho--” he cut me off with a humorless laugh before I could finish. “I guess that's a no?”

“What the fuck do you think you were doing with them? Fucking whore!” He was standing up at this point. This already made me feel uneasy, a I knew he was reaching his breaking point.

“We were just talking, I swear. How did you even find out about me being around them?”

“Were you going to keep it a fucking secret or something? Zach sent me a text that was meant for you apparently, and I also saw you guys in the park. THAT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE 'JUST TALKING'? What the fuck has gotten into you?!”

At this point, my phone went off, and that pushed him over the edge. I turned away from him for half a second to check it, and that was my big mistake.

Zach Merrick: Fuck, I accidentally sent PJ that invitation that I sent you earlier. I'd watch out around him tonight if I were you. Stay safe.

How ironic? When I turned around, PJ wasn't where he had been. No, no, instead, he was right in front of me, and I got met with a Punch straight into the face. I fell immediately, sadly knowing that I'd just have to take it for a few minutes. I gave up trying to run from PJ, it just makes things much, much worse.

I didn't even have a chance to tell him what actually happened. Instead, I got kicked in the sides a few dozen times. Once he had calmed down and backed away enough for me to stand without getting hit, I got my footing and sprinted into my room, locking the door behind me. I knew he wouldn't follow me, but I didn't want to chance it.

I had started crying by this point, but had enough sense to send a couple of texts to Zach and Ceci.

TO: Zach Merrick

Fuck, thanks for the warning man, I'd steer clear of him for a while too if I were you.

Zach then Ceci. Ceci was important.

TO: My lovely Cecilia!! <3

Mayday at 8.

Her and I had a system. Her parents had read her texts every night when we were younger, so we developed code words. Saying “Mayday at __” with a certain time meant that something bad was going on at that time and the other should steer clear. Things like that. I started to break down.

PJ hadn't hit me like that in so long. Sure, every now and then he'd hit me over the back of the head for being stupid, but not actually hit like that. I had brought this on myself. Even worse, I had probably brought shit onto Zach and Alex. I was worthless. Why the fuck was I even here? I always cause trouble for the people who actually care. Before I could do anything too stupid, Ceci was there to save the day.

My Lovely Cecilia!! <3: You know what goes on. We have checks tomorrow, no getting out of this. Team Unit for the Win.

I already had my razor in my hand when I got this. The second I read her text, I chucked that razor against the wall. This was another code. When she said “You know what goes on.” it meant that she knew I wanted to cut myself. It used to be the way we dealt with things.

We helped each other stop it and got help from one another after she tried to commit. “checks” was when we got together and made sure the other hadn't done anything stupid. We would both check each others wrists, hips, thighs, and ankles to make sure there were no new cuts or scars. We would call for checks when ever we thought the other would do something stupid.

Finally, it was the last part that got me. “Team Unit for the Win”. We were very different people, complete polar opposites actually, but we would insist to everyone that we were practically the same person. When we were teenagers, she declared us “Team Unit” meaning that the two of us were a team even though we were the same.

Saying “Team Unit for the Win” meant that if I cut, she would too. And she would cut deeper than I would, because she had more demons than me. This phrase almost always stopped me. I would never, ever let anything happen to this girl. She was my float, she kept me from drowning, literally.

Once, I had broken up with my then boyfriend, and he tried to commit because of me. He had never self-harmed, but he tried that night. He ended up calling me about it and was too scared to actually do it, but none the less, I still called the police and got him to go to the hospital about it. I felt like the most terrible person in the world because of it, I had ruined his fucking life.

I almost drowned myself that night, not purposefully, but still. It was about 3 AM on a school night, and I took a walk into the woods. Ceci had been at my house that night, but she was asleep by this point. I was walking along a creek thinking about what I had done, when my footing slipped.

I fell 13 feet into the creek. The water was higher than normal, and I knocked myself out with the fall. I woke up about ten minutes later laying in the grass on the edge of the water. I was really dizzy and fazed, but as soon as I opened my eyes, Ceci was ecstatic. I wasn't dead. She had woken up because of a nightmare that I had died. She immediately knew where I'd be and found me as soon as I had fallen. We walked back to my house and acted like nothing had happened.