Distraction

•Please Dont Go•

Mood For Chapter:

"........
And I was like BITCH don't try it hoe! Like just because I got a dick doesn't mean I won't beat your spongebob built body ass up"

I was kinda listening to Bella but I'm not at the same time. We are currently in second period and I can't get Stretch out my head. Earlier in first period I saw him and some girl all buddy buddy. He saw me looking at him and just ignored me and went back to smiling in that girl face.

I really am sick of his cheating but then I can't leave him . I can but I won't. Call me a stupid bitch but I can't do no use to lying and saying I will

I love V with all my fucking heart and I'm not gonna throw it all away for some bullshit ass female.

I'm gonna talk to his ass and if he can't stop then I will have to accept him for him. I have too much going through my head right now .

I feel like I'm falling back into my dark days again. And I don't know why. I have everything I could ever want in life. My mom and dad is in my life. I'm head cheerleader at school. Straight A's . Star quarterback as a 'loving' boyfriend. I can get anything I want with a snap of my fingers

I feel unhappy.

"Bitch! Are you listening to me ?! I'm going through a lot right now! "

Looking at Bella with my brow frowned, I huffed out a breath " Yes I Know but I really don't feel like talking right now Bella. I really just want to be by myself right now "

I raised my hand and Ms. Whatever her name nodded towards me , "can I be excused? Mr. Dickson wanted me to meet with him about my grade before third period"

Nodding and drawing on the chalk board some math shit , she said "of course Miss North" I rolled my eyes as he said Miss

I got from my desk, ignoring Bell's calls of my name and walked out of class. I really don't give a fuck about school right now.

Nothing to do but to think.

I hate thinking

I'm scared to think

Some people think all the time . Either they're okay with themselves and the sins they've done or the sins being done to them . They healed

Others talk their lives away , hoping not being left alone long enough to think. Scared to go back and think about the pain. To them it's better to ignore it and deal with it later but that never happens. They wait too long , until the past is right there at their front door , choking the little bit of life and happiness that is left .

Then there people like me .....

Faking it until they can make. The ones that smile in your face but cries themselves to sleep. Feeling alone in a room full of people. Praying that one day they would be okay

But that prayer never gets answered

I never just sat down and cried openly. Too scared that people around will consider me weak . I built this wall of glass.

If I try to break it , I'll bleed

If someone else try to break it , we'll both bleed

I never in my life feared death . I only fear life .

Since he took everything from. When I would be pushed up against the wall by him , crying , putting all my strength to push him off.