Distraction

•thats my bestfriend•

"Babygirl"

I rolled over , wrapped up in my covers and peeked at my daddy in the doorway of my room with a small smile on his face.

"It's 8:40 your about to late. Get up NOW" I giggled at him and blew a kiss , "okay I'm up daddy! Go! I'm naked under the covers!" I said while laughing when he pulled a disgusted look

"Boy! What I told you about that! Stretch be coming in here all the time! What if he sees you? I don't want my baby boy to get his cherry popped!" I rolled my eyes

If only you knew my cherry been popped

"I know daddy ! I won't do it again now leaveeeeeeeee" putting my face in my pillow

I heard my door slammed and I got up. Looking in my vanity mirror I saw my sexy self in a little something something, if you know what I mean .

I mean I know I'm a dude but sometimes I like to wear panties . I love being a boy and having a dick and wouldn't change that. Some days I feel more thugish and others i want to rock a dress with heels. It all depends on how I feel and I see nothing wrong with that.

But I wasn't always like this. I wasn't 'born gay' Some terrible things happened to me and changed me.  Stretch helped me through them. He made me feel safe , I felt at home with him.  He was my knight in shining armor when I needed it. He was my friend when I needed it. He was my safe house when I needed it. I guess that's how I fell in love with him.

No one knows about what happened that summer . Not Stretch , not mommy , not daddy , not my friends.......Nobody

Only Allah and I

Mayb- well I know that's why I can't completely heal and forgive , not only him but myself.

I was a kid when it happened. A little defenseless boy that didn't have the guts to say anything. Day in and day out he hurt me physically and mentally. I prayed and prayed, but got no answer but pain .

Of course my parents saw a change in me but they only thought that I was 'growing up' and didn't want to be their baby boy anymore. I wish sometimes they would have paid more attention and saw the signs. Maybe it would have stopped

But no I had to go back to that horrible place with that horrible man.

I use to blame myself for it but I couldn't . It felt too wrong to blame myself.

Now I'm not saying if it didn't happen I wouldn't be who I am. I'm happy being gay but I feel if I didn't get rushed in those type of things, I would have came to terms with myself and on my own time.

"...............BITCH!"

I looked behind me and giggled seeing my best friend Bella