MiniZerk - You Could Follow Your Heart

Chapter 3

Simon thinks Josh does everything he does just to give him a sense of hope; and only to rip it away a few seconds later.

It was never to Josh what it was to Simon. It was never love. It was just fueled by desire and lust. And sure, that was all well and good, but Simon wanted more than that. Clearly he would never get it from Josh.

And yet, there was no one he wanted it from more.

So, he took the situation to his closest friend (besides Josh, of course). JJ.

"I'm in love. And i don't know what to do about it."

JJ looked up from his laptop and frowned at Simon, which wasn't a good sign. "With who? Love is overrated. You don't need that shit. Especially not after your incident at Vidcon."

"That wasn't love ," Simon insisted, having had blocked the memory from his head until that moment. "She came onto me, okay? And I...you don't know the person."

It was quite clear that JJ wasn't buying a word of it. "Uh huh. Well, why don't you tell me about her, then?"

"...it might not be a her either."

"SIMON MINTER! Since when have you been gay?!"

Simon shushed him instantly. "Please keep it down. I don't want any of them to hear you. And I'm not...I'm not gay . At least I don't think I am. I don't know. I'm confused."

JJ seemed to be pondering this information, and for a second Simon almost regretted telling him. He knew JJ wasn't homophobic or anything, but it's a lot to drink in to find out that one of your best mates is gay. Simon thought that it wasn't the right time to tell him, especially considering that nothing was really certain.

The reaction was certainly unexpected.

"Simon...I'm shocked but that doesn't change that I'm happy you said something. We're not usually the type to get all gushy but seriously...it means a lot that you told me about it. And I want you to know that you can talk to me about whatever you're confused about."

Simon refused to cry, but he did feel the tears bulge behind his eyes. There was truth in JJ's words; the lads are never gushy with one another. But even so, the consideration was evident and Simon was happy he had someone to talk about.

He refrained from hugging JJ, but spoke sincerely either way. "Thank you. I appreciate that a lot. This hasn't been that easy on me as you can probably imagine..."

JJ nodded, leaning over to rub Simon's upper back in support. "I know, man. But a lot of people have your back and care about you. Don't forget that."

If there was any advice Simon needed, it was just that.