Missing

Chapter Twenty-Three

On Wednesday morning David helped Jacob harness the horse and attach it to the carriage shafts. As they headed into town, their conversation ranged broadly, but somehow it always led to Maria. "You're really smitten by her." Jacob laughed. "We can't get into a topic without your relating it to Maria."

"Can't get her out of my mind." David shook his head and sighed. "I don't know what's happened. Why it keeps on happening."

"Forty-seven years ago the same thing happened to me. I'm less distracted now, but Maddie's still the centre of my world." Jacob turned from the lane onto a smoother roadway and gave the reins three flicks on the horse's rump to move it to a canter. "The main thing you need always remember is that she's her own person. Don't try to change her. It was her spirit and her individuality that attracted you. Let them blossom as you grow together."

"Tante Bethia was telling me the same thing. She was saying that Maria will change with time, but so will I. So you and Maddie... You've been together forty-seven years?"

"Yes, the best forty-seven years of my life."

"And children? I know of Edom, are there others?"

"We had three, but only Edom survived childhood diseases..." He looked up at the sky and paused. "Edom gave us three grandchildren..." He paused again and shook his head. "Now with the war, there's only Maria left. What a magnificent person she's become."

"Such a quick mind. She amazes me with her easy grasp of ideas, the way things work, how pieces fit together, both conceptually and physically."

"We had seen her so rarely after they moved to Germany. We were shocked at how she'd blossomed in the four years since we'd last seen her. A fine woman... So beautiful." He smiled at David. "But you know that..." He paused and looked down at his knees. "Not really my place... Maybe it is, though, with Edom gone... I'm the closest thing she has as a father now."

David nodded. "Yes, truly you are."

He looked into David's eyes. "You've been intimate together?"

"Yes, from the beginning... In the mountains as we escaped... With Rachel's blessing and guidance."

"As Maddie and I suspected from their visit on Sunday. You're being careful about pregnancy?"

"Very careful. It's her fertile time now, so we're not..." He shook his head and looked at Jacob. "We're not... You know..."

"Fucking." He let out a loud laugh. "That's the proper use of the word. God, how that word's been corrupted."

David dropped his shoulders and released the tension he hadn't sensed building. He smiled at Jacob and felt his face flush. "Yes, strange how the word for such a wondrously magical and intimate experience has taken on so many dark and vile connotations."

David relaxed further as they continued along the narrow road. "There's something Maria wanted to ask you about yesterday, but we were distracted with visiting Greta." He paused to consider how to phrase it. "She told you on Sunday about the essays she has to submit —"

"Yes, I'm intrigued by one of the topics, the one on circumcision." He looked at David, then nodded toward his crotch. "I assume her inspiration is you. I can't imagine any other way her interest would be piqued."

"Yes, your assumption's correct. Mine is the only one she has seen, other than her brothers as toddlers. She remembers no details from those glimpses. She wasn't aware of the damage and impairment inflicted by the rabbis until Rachel explained circumcision to us. I've never seen a mutilated one, so I have only concepts."

"Damage and impairment? Mutilated? I don't understand."

"Nor did Maria and I, until Rachel told us of the pain and rawness from friction and the —"

"Pain and rawness; those are part of the act. The fulfilment and pleasure are worth their endurance."

"There's none. No pain, no rawness with a natural member. At least none I've experienced. We can continue for as long as we wish with nothing but pleasure."

"And how do you continue once you've climaxed?"

"I don't climax until we're both ready for it. Ten minutes, half an hour, an hour, whenever."

Jacob shook his head. "This is such a strange revelation to me. I cannot wrap my head around... I've never thought of this being any other way but as it is." He put his hand to his crotch and hefted. "Never thought of..." He trailed off.

"Rachel said she hadn't thought of it either. Apparently, every Jew has accepted the ritual cutting as normal and beneficial; as a way of honouring God."

"I must speak with Maria about this. You've intrigued me."

"She wanted to ask you..." He paused and looked down at his hands, then up to Jacob's eyes. "This may seem strange, but she wanted to ask you if she could examine yours to confirm her theories and satisfy her curiosity."

"And you've roused my curiosity. I must ask if I could examine yours." He shook his head. "Sixty-seven years and I've never suspected this was impaired. Would you allow me to?"

After looking around to see the road and the fields empty, David undid the buttons of his trouser front and pulled it out, while Jacob reined the horse to a stop.

David pulled his foreskin back to uncover the head. "This acts as a protective cover to keep the head soft and sensitive. It also works as a sleeve for my shaft to glide in and out without causing irritating friction to either me or Maria." He recovered his head and pointed. "The cover also allows me to control my excitement. I can maintain myself just short of climax for as long as I wish."

As David had demonstrated, Jacob had stared. "May I?"

"Yes, certainly."

Jacob pulled the skin back and watched the action as it unfolded. He pulled it farther along the shaft, then pushed it back a few times as he examined. "It's not the tiny snip off the end we're told. They take a large section from the middle and let the raw edges grow together. Here, look."

He unbuttoned his trousers and pulled his out. "Look at these jagged scars. The wrinkled head. Look at its shrivelled appearance." He ran his finger across it. "So rough and crusted compared to yours. What the fuck have the rabbis been doing to us?"

David looked at it. "May I?"

"Oh, yes, most certainly. You'll find a huge difference in texture."

He examined Jacob's, turning it up to expose the underside of the head. "Here, this scar. That was where the most sensitive part once was. They've cut it away." He peeled his head and turned it over. "These ridges and frills. These are the most sensitive."

"Fuck." Jacob shook his head. "Not only that, but the cutting also impairs the growth. Yours is more than twice the size of mine."

"No, not impaired at all." David chuckled. "I discovered in the Army showers last year that this is not normal. Nowhere near it."

They tucked themselves back into their trousers and buttoned their fronts in silence. Jacob shook his head. "I'm amazed. I've not before done anything like this; had never thought of doing anything like it. Takes trust and respect... Deep trust. I guess you're part of the family." He grabbed David's shoulder and shook it as he laughed. "Welcome."