Crying for the moon

a rogue by nature

Alpha Jack must have been 57 years old now, a thick but short beard covered a great deal of his face, grey hairs were starting to dominate the otherwise brown hair, a clear indicator of his age. Possibly the oldest part of him however was his hands, they were scared, calloused, fighter's hands. After all he had been making our pack stronger as alpha for over 30 years.

     "Rachel Silveran." He said, his voice booming most likely so that the entire pack could hear his words, Alpha Jack was not a man who liked to be ignored.   "You, a mutt that is 19 years old, have yet to give anything back to this pack, for this crime, have you anything to say?" When he finally turned his gaze onto mine i flared with a rage I couldn't quite understand, his eyes showed nothing but delight in my submission and immanent end, he wanted me to say something wrong, give him an excuse to dig his beast's claws into my flesh and rip me in half.  I was supposed to be scared, I just know I was, but instead I just kept getting angrier, more frustrated with the empty faces watching us. I wouldn't say anything, I shouldn't give him any satisfaction....not at all.

       "Well? I will hear your defense girl." Alpha continued, taking a step tward me. My gut twisted and I gasped, placing a hand at the source of the pain, whatever was inside me these days obviously wanted to rip me apart as much as everyone else.  

"I said speak, Omega." that was it, omega, the lowest and worst of insults to anyone born of the moon. "A snarl ripped out of my mouth, the sound scratched at the back of my thought as it escaped my mouth, making me gasp pitifully afterwards. All the blank faces  changed to perplexed and outraged. A growl was a sign of your moon-flake wolf starting to take over your consciousness but I had no such beast. Scratches and bruises were the only proof that there was something inside me, only trapped. Never had I ever even gotten close to a growl but yet there it went. A silence ensued, only awkward coughs and loud breathing was heard from anyone in the crowd.

"You dare defy me child? I'm in the right mind to bring you to the ground to kiss my boot, I am your alpha!"

I had heard the alpha command again, he expected me to be compelled to kneel in front of him, submit to him before he does god knows what to me. Instead my inner beast decided to take another approach, I screamed this time when the pain ripped through my entire body, I fell to the ground and I think I saw the expression of victory in Alpha Jack's eyes but my vision was too blurred to be sure.I heard my screams as if they were coming from someone else, my fingertips were red hot and I felt every part of myself changing, into a darker part of me? Was this the change that I was supposed to have seven years ago? Or was this my damaged beast finally killing me? I looked up, breathing past and searched the eyes of my leader. What I saw gave me another strike to my side, what I saw was malicious joy in my pain.  This was not a man worthy of my submission, he is not worth the ground I spit on. I am not an omega, I am so much more.  I am a proud and strong wolf that doesn't need this pack to survive.  A fire was burning in my gut, as it grew, the pain gradually receded, I was able to control my breathing, this sort of thing had never happened before, the pain usually just kept getting worse until I passed out, the relief was even more terrifying.  Apparently Alpha Jack had enough of my pain because I watched as he faced the crowd.  

"This damaged pup is still incapable of releasing her wolf, Obviously she has nothing to give back to pack, she has no skills in healing, she does not exceed in any scholastic endeavours, and her mate is not in this pack. I propose we excommunicate her from the pack entirely."

I was not surprised, in fact I was relieved that he wasn't going to kill me. I always assumed that the wolf inside of me was trying to kill me so that it didn't have to be attached to me, that it was ashamed of me so it refused to allow me to use it.  Somehow that no longer made sense to me, if my wolf could bruise me in such a way then what was stopping it from just ending it all? Also the numbness i felt now was opening other strange sensations. I felt another set of emotions as if my personality was splitting in half, I was scared and nervous but then another part of me was outraged and eager to break the bond between the pack, and why not? They were going to kick me out anyway, The only difference between me going rogue and me being kicked out is the grace period they give kick-outs to get out of the territory and I'll be damned before I take anything else from this pack.

"So, without further introduction," Alpha turned back to me, "Rachel Silveran I officially-" He stopped short and I smiled in utter delight. The smile was a lie, I was still scared shitless but somehow the gratification in no longer being under this man's thumb was enough to allow the 27 muscles in my face to turn the corners of my mouth upwards. I was still disobeying him, and my wolf was finally one with me. That victory was short lived however due to A-Jack's snarl and his body quickly running towards me.   That is when , my skin ripped to shreds.