Broken With You

Hanging Out

I didn't expect you to do this. Invite him in your house for pizza and a movie...WHEN YOUR SUPPOSE TO BE MAD AT HIM!!!

I'm still mad at him, but I didn't think he would leave if I told him to. I think us just hanging out a little will keep him calm just in case...

Just in case he's like him?

Yes, exactly.

Here's a crazy idea. Maybe Jace is not like him, maybe he is just secretive.

No. Its smart for me to be cautious. Saying maybe is or isn't is not a smart idea. I'm going to actually figure out.

"Deep in thought, huh?"

I realize that I have been staring at my lap for a while and Jace sees that too. I can tell that I'm blushing with embarrassment, so I bury my head in my lap.

"Kira." I don't respond. "Kira" I still don't respond. I feel a hand on my shoulder and my past experiences make me jolt up. I'm now standing and Jace is staring at me with confusion.

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine."

"No it isn't. You're mad at me and I dont know why, so I have to say I'm sorry."

I look down and smile.

"You can't say sorry for something....that you haven't done, yet."

Jace gets up and walks to me slowly, but with caution. His face tells me that he's confused.

"Remember our first date? And when I cried about...him?"

He nods his head.

"Well that's why I've been avoiding you and upset with you."

"Cause he's back?"

The thought of him even being in the same town as me scares the living shit out of me.

"Fuck no! He's far, so far from here. Its just that you were doing things that he did around the time that he...."

Say it.

I can't.

Just say it. Don't be a pussy.

I can't say it! I haven't talked about it in years. And you know that.

"What did he do to you?", he ask reaching out for my hand. I hold back tears and hold the hand that he offered me.

Say it.

"He abused me."

Keep going.

"He didn't like it when I was in control of...anything really."

And...

"He threatened to hurt my parents."

AND...

"And it was all because I wanted to know more about him. His secrets. Turns out that was the worst decision I ever made."

"And you think because I haven't told you any of my...you think I'm just like him."

Guilt runs through my body. Him saying sounds worse than me saying it.

"The thought crossed my head. I don't want to believe that, but you don't tell me anything. Anything important that is. Just like him. But a part of me thinks that you're not like him. That you're way better."

I rub his hand with my thumb while looking at the floor. Jace lifts my head up with his index finger.

Oohh, he's gonna kiss you.

I close my eyes ready for a kiss, but instead I get a hug.

Oh. A hug? Well, that was unexpected.

Oh you think?

I hug back and we stay that way for a while. But I dont mind. Sometimes instead of a kiss, maybe you need a hug.

So wise.