Memories - Shawn Mendes

Chapter 3 - Maybe?

(Kiaras POV)

I guess I just lost my best friend.

I don't know what to do. He's leaving soon, and we're not even on speaking terms, I haven't talked to him since that night, and it was like two weeks ago. I really want to see him. Maybe I should?

No.

He doesn't want to see me, he made that very clear the last time.

I check my phone for the 20th time to see if anything exciting is going on, and that's when I see it. On Shawns twitter.

He's going on tour.

Why didn't he tell me? I'm his best friend. No,  rather his ex-best friend and also ex-girlfriend. But he must've known it for a while. He should've told me. Maybe that's why he broke up with me? Maybe he didn't find another girl he loved more than me, maybe it was just something I thought.

Oh god.

I shouldn't have done it. Shit. I ruined everything. Oh god what do I do? I have to talk to him, I have to fix it, I have to explain it to him. I unlock my phone and go in my contacts. I quickly find Shawns name and press dial. It rings a few times, but then I hear a deep, raspy voice saying: "hello?" I gasp a little, surprised that he picked up. "Shawn?" I say into my phone, "Can we talk? Please" I lay down in my bed. "Right now?" He says, and that's when I realize it's 3 am. "Yes? If you don't mind, it's kind of important, but can we meet up?" I can hear him breathe through the phone for a few seconds before he answers: "Okay... The usual place?" I nod, before realizing that he can't see it and mumbles a quick yes.

I put on my leggings and the nearest hoodie and sneak out the door. My parents are still asleep. I close the door softly and grab my bike and ride to the small park not that far away. I arrive and put my bike down. Then I walk over to a bench that's hidden away behind some trees. It used to me and Shawns place where we would meet up sometimes.

I sit down on the bench and a few minutes later I hear footsteps and leaves being pushed away. He's here. I can feel him coming closer, and when he sits down next to me I can smell his cologne. We both sit a few minutes just staring at the park. I decide to break the silence. "I'm sorry," I whisper. He turns his head and looks at me. I turn my head too. "I shouldn't have done it, but I thought you were cheating on me, or had found another girl you liked more, I thought that was your reason. I should've known better, you would never do that. Oh god what's wrong with me?" I sigh, slightly wincing together on the bench.

"I forgive you," I hear after a minute or so of silence. "It's okay"

I exhale, trying to take in what he just said. I feel like a massive weight has been taken off my shoulders. I turn to face him, seeing his beautiful face light up in the dimmed light from the lamppost. He slightly smile, and I can't help but smile too. I don't know if it's because he's smiling or because he forgave me, but I'm trying to just be in the moment.

Then all of a sudden his smile disappears and he sighs. "I guess you know that I'm going on tour.. I didn't tell you and I'm really sorry about that, but I just didn't want to hurt you by leaving, so... I thought it would be easier to just break things off between us, but I shouldn't have done that. It was a big mistake." He sights and looks down on his hands. "I still love you Kiara, and I, I never meant to hurt you." There's a little pause, "and I want you back!"

And here I am, speechless, sitting next to a boy who just told me he loves me, and yet I don't feel right. I have everything right here, right in front of me and all I can say is: "But you're still going on tour..."

See, that, that was a mistake.