All I Ever Wanted.

Ignored Narcotics and Needy Lovers.

I paced along the cold kitchen tiles waiting for my Frankie to return home, his tour had seemed to last  far longer than I thought it would. Laying in bed alone at night had been the hardest part of it, his side empty and the blankets not keeping me near as warm. Words couldn't describe how much I missed Frank's touch or his lips and the way they could calm me down. However the sound of him playing guitar on our terrace while his brown hair tangled down into his eyes was the thing I missed most. From the first time I had seem him play guitar with Pencey Prep I had been entranced. Pacing my way down the hall into our small bedroom I ran my hand along the red quilt his grandmother had made us when we moved in together that laid folded at the foot of our bed, and then over his rack of t-shirts in the closet. It seemed so empty without all of his favorites. Mostly filled with the button shirts he didn't want to ruin on stage, and t-shirts that he bought a size larger so I could wear them.  Drawing my nose into them I could smell his cologne that smelled like rosemary and cigarette smoke. I had no idea how the combination was intoxicating but had long ago just resigned to assuming I was love blind. Closing my eyes for another smell to ease my nerves like the Xanax that dwelled in the bathroom medicine cabinet that I refused to take should be doing. I could take it but the chances of my need increasing to unhealthy levels discouraged it. So instead it sat there as I used Frank's body, my hand, and the euphoria of being in love as an organic form. Savoring the artificial smell of him I continued to wait for the real thing like I had every night for the past few months. Reluctantly I pulled my face away, and thought about how I really needed something to remember him by when we were apart, more than a pillow covered in his t-shirt and the notes that he hid around our house. As comforting as those things were they weren't the same at all. Not was the same as his hands, his voice, even his cooking. That thought sent a pang through my body as I pulled my arm over my stomach, and thought about the amount of weight I must have gained since he had been gone. I hoped he wouldn't notice, but there was no way that three months straight of takeout didn't have side effect  on me. Frowning, I stepped toward our black floor length mirror and lifted my flannel shirt to just above my belly button, and ran my a hand over the pooch; desperately trying to push the thoughts out of my brain. It was Frank, he had seen me at my biggest post MCR and if anyone would still love me with a little more meat on my bones it would be Frank. He was the one always worrying over what I ate and how often. Successfully pushing those thoughts out of my mind I yanked my shirt back down, and redirected my attention to the window as I pulled our grey curtains over and peeked through the blinds searching for his car. He hadn't given a specific time he'd be home, but my excitement had gotten me up hours ago and coffee wasn't doing near the job I knew his kisses would to keep me awake. 

 "Gee" his comforting voice whispered from behind me in my ear as he kissed my cheek. My shoulders relaxed instinctively as my lips turned to meet his, I almost couldn't contain myself as my fingers knotted into his hair almost silently begging him to not leave me again. I knew I really should just tell my anxiety to take a hike, and just join him on tour. Because 3 months without his kiss was enough to drive me mad. In one giant blur of fingers and lips he had me on the bed in nothing but my boxers, panting, begging for his touch. His dominance seared through as he peeled his body upward, making the dominance inside of me waver. Parting lips in a gasp I watched as he peeled his black sweater off, exposing his tattooed chest I would never get over how beautiful he is. The way each of the lines made him even more irresistible, the nights and stories behind most of them reminding me of our early relationship.

 "Cat got your tongue baby?" he asked as his lips connected with my neck sending shivers down my spine. 

"I wouldn't say a cat." I purred. Our hips grinding together like the gears in a clock making time seem obsolete until we had to take heaving breaths to avoid prematurely allowing our orgasms to take over like damp screams in foreign languages that only we understood. His hips bucked into mine as my body spun so that my head was on one of our disheveled pillows leaving full axis for my legs to wrap round his waist and his lips to hover just above mine as our breath did the kissing. 

"Fuck." I moaned rolling my hips upward into the hand that he had wrapped around my cock. All of his touches and sounds sending sparks up my spine and a permanent gasp on my lips. Feeling the knot in my stomach curl together his own thrusts became sloppy.

"Fuck, baby yes. Cum baby." he screamed throwing his bed backwards hitting just the right spot to send my back into an arch. Riding through his pleasure he leaned down to kiss me one last time and rolled off as I bit down on my lip my body sensitive and my heartbeat thudding in my ear. Instinctively I closed my eyes and turned over laying my head on his chest feeling his heart beat beneath my head. God damn I had missed that.

 "Frankie, I love you" I sighed running my hand through my tangled hair smiling up at him. 

"I love you too sweetheart," he beamed down at me running his hand through his own and then using the other to comfortingly rake through my brown mess I call hair. Chewing on my lip I contemplated not asking him, I wasn't even sure if i would go through with it. I did desperately want something to remember him by but going through with it was a whole different story. If there was anyone I'd want to do it, it'd be him. Nuzzling into his chest with my eyes closed his finger started to slow their chore of untangling my hair.

 "Hey you okay?" he questioned breaking the comfortable silence and pulling my chin up so I could look into his soft questioning eyes that were the same color as mine but somehow so much more beautiful.

 Smiling and kissing Frank's cheek, I chuckled "Of course I am silly, you're home I was just thinking about an idea I had earlier" pausing slightly and giving myself a chance to talk myself out of it before I decided to just take the leap. It wasn't like he hadn't done it before, and I trusted him more than anything "Well.." I started taking another pause and looking up into his eyes that were laced with compassion and worry. "I was wondering if you'd give me a tattoo to remember you by when you're not here". I finally finished in a spout of words most likely not understandable. 

Quickly, he propped himself up on his elbows and gasped "Gee you're terrified of needles." I couldn't really argue with him there, My beyond beautiful Frank had a point but to me the concept was so much more important than the actual thing. The fact that I would have something that he etched into my skin would be extremely special and would be one of the only ways i'd ever have a needle come near me. Kissing his aghast lips lightly, and I smiled weakly but wide 

"Well yeah sweetie, but i'm not scared of you." Disapprovingly his eyes studied my face for any hesitance, I had always sworn off tattoos due to my deathly fear of needles. I always looked away when I accompanied him to the tattoo shop. It wasn't that I didn't like them or the sound of the gun. In fact the sound was something that eased my nerves, just the idea that needles were being repeatedly poked into his skin always made my skin crawl. If there was anyway we could have remedied that factor of it, I would probably be covered in them long ago. Probably would have made a contest out of it with the man.

"You're sure?" he interrogated stroking my hand with his thumb. I loved him, but he truly did worry too much no wonder he had ulcers plaguing his stomach 90% of the time. Nodding and attempting to kiss away his worried look I cuddled into him, he was the only thing i had ever been more sure of. "Fuck, I'm happy I'm home beautiful," he breathed pressing a kiss to the top of my head and pulling me closer into his bare chest as if it were even possible.