Reminiscence: A Star Wars Fanfic

Chapter 5

 "In the stillness of your presence, you can feel your own formless and timeless reality as the unmanifested life that animates your physical form. You can then feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love."

—Eckhart Tolle

I stood in front of the ship, staring at it. I had never willingly flown before, and to say I was nervous was an understatement. I had heard of super-hyperspace jumps, but, being about to make one, I was scared. Moving so fast that one could not see individual stars was bad enough. I had been told that we would not even be able to see inside the ship.

For a few minutes, my senses would be inactive as my body transcended the speeds of light.

Even before I heard footsteps, I could tell people were coming up behind me. A nagging sense in my brain screamed Turn around! I had been told that I would eventually be able to recognize the different tugs and pulls to identify individual people.

As I turned, I saw my brother looking at me. He seemed just as confused as I was, but we had been through enough already to know when you just had to accept something.

I was leaving. That was that.

I studied Anakin for a moment. His presence always shook me. Even with no Force training, I could always feel him. He was like no other Jedi I had ever seen. An aura of power radiated off him like it did no other.

His intense blue eyes met my matching set, and, for a moment, I could hear a soft melody, like music, but far more beautiful.

He could not help but break into a smile as saw me. I could not help but notice the change in him already. Only a few weeks as a padawan learner, and I could sense he had progressed farther in that time than most padawans do in a year.

Anakin carried himself differently, more confidently. His smile was more reserved, as if glee was beneath him. Most of all, though, I noticed the distance he put between himself and me, enough for a normal humanoid to stand comfortably with personal space.

I could tell he didn't like the fact that I was leaving. No one had any idea when I would return, and I think it scared him.

Despite his personal feelings, I could tell he was trying to assert himself in the Jedi-like manner of having no attachments. I was upset that that included me.

"I'll miss you," he dared dane admit.

I offered him a small smile. "I'll miss you, too," I replied.

Next to him stood his master. "I hope to see you again, Arrai," Master Obi-Wan said.

"You as well, Master Kenobi," I responded, hoping I had said it correctly.

Master Plo put a hand on my shoulder. "It is time to leave, little Ari," as far as I could tell, he had adopted a nickname for me. I was not sure whether to be pleased or offended, but, from his tone, I knew he meant it affectionately. He turned toward the ship.

I took another look at my twin, the only family I had really ever known. The only thing I had of my mother was the familiar sound of her voice. I could hear her sing all those years, and I doubt I would forget it.

But I had Anakin with me. He was more than a memory. He was something I could feel, something I could anchor myself on.

If I was leaving, I wanted to make sure he knew what he meant to me.

I embraced him.

I could hear that melody, the song in his eyes, as he returned the gesture tentatively. He gripped as if he never wanted to let go. Whether or not he liked it, I was all he had left.

"I will come back," I promised.

"I love you," he said so quietly I almost thought I'd imagined it.

He gripped me tighter. Suddenly, I could see the fear coming off him in waves. There was a deep anger that I wasn't sure even he was aware of. I could see his aura and distinguish his feelings as easily as I could distinguish colors.

I had no idea was he had been told about my departure, where I was going and for what purpose, but I read the slight jealousy in the mix of swirling colors.

But mostly, there was a pure imaginative sense that could not be described by a color or single feeling. It was a happiness one could only derive by wishing well on others. I could tell he was hoping well for me.

I released him, though a little unwillingly. I looked into his eyes, my eyes. It felt like looking at my own self.

We could only nod to each other as I tore away toward the ship. I glanced at the Jedi Temple, as if the building itself needed a farewell.

Stepping into the ship, I knew this would not be the last meeting between my brother and I; I did not need the Force to know that.

[To my beloved readers:

Before I say anything more, I wanted to thank all those who comment and vote on all the chapters. You all really do mean a lot to me, and I am so thankful for your ideas and the excitement that you give me. I am hoping to start doing more on my laptop, and therefore I can do some dedications, so look out for those (this chapter doesn't have a dedication just because I want to see the commenters/voters on this chapter first).

I wanted to put out two chapters today to apologize for the lack of updates in the past month. I've been busy with other fandoms (Almost done TID and TMI was amazing. Also rereading all the books in the Riordanverse, and I'm starting Throne of Glass. This is all while juggling about twenty television shows).

So, onto a bit of commentary for this and last chapter. I hope you all enjoy reading about the struggles of learning a new language. I know about this from some personal experience (I am semi-fluent in French, but conversational French is a nightmare. Italian isn't so bad, and Latin is easy cause there's no speaking!).

Also, *cue everyone getting excited* I am going to be delving a lot more into the lore of the Dark Jedi and Arrai's training. I am adding more characters to flesh out the Dark Jedi Order, which I am excited about. You may recognize a few from the original series, and some name hints may dropped.

I don't wanna bore you with exposition and announcements, so until next chapter, my friends! Don't forget that I love hearing from you and I'd love to talk with you over PM!

Peace, love, and

-Art