Loyalty: Something Dishonest

F O R T Y

L J

Everyone around me crying and hugging up on me. All I want is some space, but at this time that's not possible.  Family that I hardly know showing up out of no where. As the pastor is talking I'm totally zoned out. Just staring at my mom laying in the casket hurt me to no end. Like I said before there is no more family left.

They lift my mom up and everyone gets in order and put her in the hurst. Chanel gets in the family car after me and rubs my back.

"You feeling okay?", she asks. I ignore her and look out of the window. She continues to rub my back but doesn't say anything else.

At the grave yard they lowered her and the pastor said more words. Once again I'm zoned out. Everyone starts to leave once again. I stand up and then King, Justin, Carmelo , and Juno walk up to me. One by one they give me a hug.

"You coo? I know you ain't alright but.. you know.", Carmelo says.

"I'll be alright.", I say.

"You need anything just call me.", King tells me. I nod my head and he pats my back before walking off.

"Well I rode with him. Be coo LJ.", Justin says. He jogs towards King and almost falls. I start laughing a little and so does Juno.

"Shit well.. damn.. Excuse me lord. Anyway I think I should leave now. I'm cussing and sh- stuff. Yeah I'll see you later.", Carmelo starts praying on his way back to his car. I swear he can't act normal.

Juno looks around the now empty grave yard. "You okay to be here ?", he asks me.

"Yeah thanks for asking. I'm just gone stay here and ... talk I guess for a little while.", I tell him. Juno looks back at the grave and nods.

"Okay then. You need me just call.", he walks off and I kneel down. I hear his car pull off a while later and sigh.

"I guess I'm all alone huh?", I ask out loud. I look up at the clouds and sigh again. "Forecast said it was supposed to be sunny today. I guess that was a wrong guess. Mom I might have not shown it but you meant everything to me. You were smart and always a good mom. Even though you always depended on dad.. that still didn't stop me from seeing you as Wonder Woman. I pray that I will find a woman to spend my life with as good as you. You were so damn hard headed. All the time I used to tell you to be healthy. But you never listened to me. Look where it got you mom.... but the Lord was in need of an Angel and he got one. I just need him to send one my way."

I toss a rose down and rub my face.

"You have an angel.", I turn around and see Aniya. "She's always here with you."

My mouth drops open and she gives a slight smile. When did she get back? She sits down beside me and hugs me.

"Aniya.. When did you.. when did you get back!", I hug her and she giggles.

"I've been back for like a week now. I'm sorry for your lost. She was a really sweet lady.", she says.

"Yeah she was.. at least she ain't gotta suffer no more.", I add in. Seeing Aniya kinda lit my mood up. She's like the little sister I've never had. When she got taken that broke another piece of my heart off. "You doing okay?"