Prologue...
We do not want to know the extend of how our lives can change subject to the happenings within a second of a day. In our juvenile minds, the life design we have become accustomed to is to out ride any misfortune sown within each of our paths. As a child, parental love is sponged up in its volumes to guide, to cushion; and to protect. To guide when we are misguided anyhow, to cushion each heavy fall; and to protect us from the darkness embodied in most of the world. One does not want to grow up with the knowledge that their father is the reason why their mother is a no show in their lives. One does not want to scrap for reasoning trying to understand a suicidal mind, with the hope that it would somehow bring peace to their soul. One does not want to grow up with the perpetual thought that they weren't good enough, that they somehow deserved to be parentless.
Message From The Grave
There is no such thing as a crime driven by passion. No amount of love can manifest into something cruel, something so vile.
In my premature afterlife, I would come to terms with the possibility that I had somehow met up with a monster in sheep clothing. One who had a knack of making people around him feel special. In my lonely cold state soon to be attacked by insects of the earth, I would imagine my restless spirit wondering about pondering on the offspring I have left behind. With no note, a mere goodbye signalling my impending departure, I ask myself whether their questions will somehow one day be answered.
I took a crushing fall for elusive reasoning. The vows I once uttered mock my breathless body. Gasps echo from above the earth, shocked at what has happened. I am not so sure that it has sunk in yet, but the bullet wound will forever be a reminder of an unexpected betrayal. Forgivable; I am not so certain. For I loved like no other. I cherished like no other. I gave myself away, submitting to a man who most saw as my best friend, my anchor; the love of my life. I feared nothing with the knowledge that I had a defender. In my eyes an indestructible shield. Fault me where I may have got it wrong but I think that this man was my soul mate. The man to take the bullet for me, not one to deliver it.
The selfishness that drove you, I am at a loss of words for I know not whether some of your brothers harbour the same traits. I know not whether some of my sisters will fall prey to their charming smiles only to succumb to nothingness as me.
Forgiveness is mostly eventual. I have all eternity to wonder about yours.
Mali
