Legend

Longest week

At the start of the next week Damian had a cactus delivered. I looked at it in dismay, then looked it up on my phone right there at the desk. The definition made me laugh--endurance. I didn't particularly like cactus, so I put it on the reception desk downstairs. Fortunately, Doug liked it. I sent a picture of wallflowers, 'faithfulness in adversity.'

Aside from that bit of lightness, the week was pretty grim. At the end of the week, I dragged myself up to Tony's office. "Tony, I'm having to rethink things. I know you want an acupuncturist to see to Colonel Rhodes, so you should think about hiring somebody. I'm going to finish out the massage course, but I really don't think that I can handle a course of study that takes as long as the acupuncture course. Massage is an associates degree, acupuncture is a masters. My schedule isn't sustainable over the long term. I've been working eighteen hour days."

"I can work around the clock," he grumped.

"Until you crash, then you're down for at least a day, usually two or three. I don't have that luxury. I have clients who need me to be reliable, and I'm a one-woman operation."

His face, which had been tight--Tony doesn't take well to having his plans upset--eased as he really looked at me. The concealer I used wasn't doing a very good job with the black under eye circles. "So hire more staff."

I actually tried, but I couldn't suppress the eye roll. "Tony, I can't afford to pay my salary consistently."

"Jesus, Alex, don't be so stubborn.  You need more money, ask."

"It's my business, and I'm not willing to make it a subsidiary of Stark Tech."

From there we got into a yelling match. I was too tired to be tactful or handle him the way I usually did, and nobody really yelled at Tony. Emma didn't have to anymore, and she was the only other person who had. I stomped out before I could say anything I'd regret, then had to text J that I might have put our business in jeopardy.

J: Don't worry. Proud of you for standing up for yourself. If Stark gets too demanding, we'll figure out another way.

I was so tired that I was more emotional than usual and fortunately had a brief respite where I could get myself under control and fix my makeup. I hate to feel this stretched; I feel like I don't have resources to deal with anything properly, and the hated stress crying tends to pop up. I'd never been able to figure out how to quit that. I also wanted a hug, so I went in search of my uncle.  I was a little horrified to realize that what I really wanted was a hug from Damian.

I squashed that down and got an Uncle Bucky flannel special hug instead. Then he sat me down and listened to what I had to say. "Listen, sweetie, I've never run a business, but I think you need to consult somebody. Rethink your business plan; thing have a way of going haywire when Stark gets involved, because if you deviate too far you're going to be in trouble. He has enough resources so that whenever he gets a wild hare, he can afford to implement it. You don't have those resources, so either you need to retrench or you'll risk somebody actually owning your business." He continued to give me good advice about separating out work and personal life. "You and Stark are similar in that you both work hard and play hard, and it's the play time that makes life really worth living. He'll figure that out when he calms down. But again, it's a question of resources. He has a multi-billion dollar empire and hordes of employees. You have yourself, really, Doug's on loan, isn't he?" I nodded. "You need to restrict your work hours. I know you don't want to turn people away, but if you burn out, what's going to happen over the long term?" He took me off teaching for a week in order to give me some more time to figure things out and said sternly that it would be more if I needed it. I was afraid that he'd also cancel our lessons--I needed to work out hard, otherwise I got really antsy--but we both agreed that wasn't negotiable.  I stayed at work until six, then put out the sign directing after hours clients upstairs for emergency care at the clinic. I went upstairs and took a nap.