Legend

Jokin' around

I was in the hospital for two days. Two days too many, if you ask me. (And yay for Tony's excellent insurance.)  They used the accelerator, which allowed me to shower  (thank you, lord!) but there was nothing to be done for the bone, which would have to heal on its own. On the bright side, with the screws in, I didn't have to immobilize the shoulder. I did have to be very careful because muscles, ligaments and tendons had been stretched and were still a little delicate even after treatment. Tony told me to take a week off and that he'd fire me if I showed my face in the tower during that time, so that was nice. Bruce took a chunk of time for a little vacation while he was away on the London business; Damian said, grinning, that Selina had disappeared too.

My folks came down for a couple of days to reassure themselves that I was ok and J asked if I wanted him to come up, but I wasn't that badly hurt and he needed to study. My aunt and uncle stopped by a few times after work to visit and Aslyn made a point of calling. But mostly I slept in, and Damian took half days, so that was nice. Very nice. Alfred made himself scarce in the afternoons but doted on me in the mornings and prepared little treats for us. Dick and Barbara stopped by several times and they took over patrolling the city, which was strangely quiet. Grayson, Winston, and Hestia didn't show any special affection, but they were thrilled to have me home when I wasn't usually.

My insurance settled up quickly on my poor car and toward the end of my week Alfred took me to the Jaguar dealership to replace it. And he proceeded to modify that one too. I kind of wanted a button that would feature a raised middle finger to any supervillains and their goons on my bumper, but I was afraid to suggest this to Alfred, not wanting to lower his opinion of me. Damian had retrieved my personal belongings from the wreck, and he was still white-lipped when he came home, so my beloved roadster must have been just toast.

I found out from McIver which hospital had the Joker and asked to see him. McIver said he couldn't approve a visit, but mentioned when he showed up to talk with the police guards. I managed to slip in somehow.

He was asleep when I closed the door behind me. The media reported extensive injuries, including that the surgeons had to remove his testicles due to the damage. Dispassionately, I poked his shoulder until he came to, groggily. His eyes widened when they saw me. I stared him down, then smiled. "Here's how it's going to be," I said flatly. "You're going to cut your losses as far as I'm concerned. If you ever come after me again, I will snap your neck and leave you paralyzed below the neck. Furthermore, you're going to plead guilty to all charges, at least the ones concerning me, and you're going to go to jail, not Arkham."  I let my gaze roam his face, lingering on his swollen mouth where I'd broken most of his teeth. His left hand scrabbled for the sheet, unconsciously drawing it up under his chin. His right hand could do exactly jack shit since I'd tried to break every bone in it and had succeeded with most, plus the three bones in his arm. His other injuries were shrouded by the sheet. "Do you know why I spent so long on your hand?" He shook his head minutely, his eyes never leaving mine. "Because you dared to touch me with it. Let that be a lesson and a warning. I was pretty thorough with the rest of you too, but if you touch me again, I'm going to give your whole body the full hand treatment." I smiled at him coldly. He looked terrified. It was probably wrong of me to take pleasure for terrorizing somebody in his state, but after what he'd put me through... I just didn't care. "Also, just FYI, my insurance company is suing you for the damages your goons inflicted on my car." I grinned at him. "Have a great day!" Then I slipped out before the guards came back. The monitors started to go off.

Three weeks later, the Joker was transferred to the jail and McIver called me in. With him was the DA. And not an assistant. The big cheese himself. He wasted no time in telling me that he'd offered the Joker a deal, and a heaviness settled over me. "What I find incredible is that you managed to inflict so much damage with a broken shoulder," he said coolly. "Are you sure you didn't have some help? Are you shielding someone?"