Billford spoof

Destruction

The power was still out and everyone in the house was at the table eating tea. Wendy had to stay over at the mystery shack the storm was that bad. Tea consisted of chicken noodles and some almost raw potatoes. They were all chatting when suddenly Ford stood up, confused. "Where's Bill?" He asked. Everyone else looked around the table but there was no sigh of him. Suddenly, as if on cue, there was a huge crash and the wall beside the table shattered. Dust flew around and Dipper screamed and Soos fell off his chair. The others coughed as the dust clouds cleared and there, of course, was Bill, lying draped in the middle of the gaping hole in the wall holding a baseball bat. "GUYS, LOOK AT THIS LETTER!" Bill yelled, holding up a letter. "Hey, is there any tea for me?" He asked. "Umm, I don't think so." Stan said looking around. Bill scowled with his one big eye. "WHAT?!" He screamed. "WHO MADE TEA?!"
"Um, it was me and Stan." Dipper replied. "PINETREE, IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMETHING FOR ME TO EAT IN 3 SECONDS I WILL MAKE OUT WITH FORD AND MAKE YOU ALL VERY UNCOMFORTABLE!" Bill screeched and Ford blushed and face palmed. "3!" He began and Dipper got up and grabbed a pan. "2! 1!" Bill finished. "DISGRACEFUL!!" Bill yelled, grabbed a plait and smashed it over Dippers head. "RUDE!" Dipper shouted as he fell out his chair. "COME ON DIPPER! LAZING AROUND WHILE WE ALL STARVE!" Shouted Stan as Bill's eye turned into a mouth and he began to violently kiss Ford and Ford joined Soos and Dipper on the floor. "AND YOU BROKE MY FAVOURITE PLATE!" Screamed Bill and continued to snog Ford and Ford yelled. "SOMEONE HELP ME!" as Bill pulled his hair playfully. "Well, I'm uncomfortable." Stan said.
"What was the letter you wanted to show us?" Asked Mabel, breaking the madness. "Oh yeah." Bill said, finally letting go of Ford. By now the entire group new Bill and Ford had feelings for each other.

"GIDEON GOT THE WILL WHILE HE WAS LOOKING AFTER WADDLES AND HE'S GOING TO DEMOLISH THE MYSTERY SHACK! TOMORROW!" Bill screamed in a rush. Stan looked relaxed. "I TRUSTED HIM!" Cried Mabel.
"Don't worry, I have a plan.." Bill replied mysteriously. "TELL US!" Dipper said eagerly, still rubbing his head. "So when Gideon comes to demolish the shack, he'll find it already demolished, FROM THE INSIDE SO HE WILL HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO DESTROY!" Bill shouted and smashed another hole in the wall with the baseball bat and jumped through. "Wait!" Shouted Stan but was cut of by Soos. "Way ahead of you triangle dude!" He yelled and stumbled into another wall crashing straight through into the other room.

Bill grabbed a golf club and yelled, "FOUR!" as he putted a coconut out of the window. The window shattered. "HOLE IN ONE!" Bill shouted triumphantly and through himself through another window that also shattered. Soos grabbed an axe and chopped the table in half. "Meh, if its getting destroyed I don't see why we should keep it looking nice." Wendy said and grabbed her axe and slammed it into a bookcase. Bill climbed back in through a window, soaked and his eye turned into a mouth and he took a huge bite out of the window frame. "STOP!!" Stan screamed as Bill spat out a eye-full of wood in the other room and Soos smashed another window with a golf club and looked up. "THE SHACK IS NOT BEING DEMOLISHED! GIDEON GOT THE WRONG WILL BECAUSE I DESTROYED THE REAL ONE! THE ONE HE GOT SAID 'SUCK A LEMON LITTLE MAN' FOR GODS SAKE!" Everyone froze. "Whoops." Said Wendy. "Where's Bill?" Asked Dipper and everyone looked around. "Help!" Came his voice from the other room and Ford and the twins ran through. "Either shoot me or get me out!" Shouted the little triangle. "Don't go blowing yourself up just yet." Ford grumbled. Bill had got himself wedged in a firework launcher. "THIS IS FOR TAKING OVER THE WORLD AND SMASHING A PLATE ON MY HEAD!" Yelled Dipper and pulled the trigger. Bill squealed with excitement and flew across the room, smoke erupting from the gun. He smashed into the half-demolished book case. "Are you ok?" Asked Stan, not really sounding bothered. Ford ran over. Bill shakily stood up and stammered, "I'm fine sixe-" but then fell over. "Bill?" Ford asked and inched closer. Bill stood up, stumbled a few steps, his eye turned into a mouth and he threw up an orangey liquid and fell over again. "He'll be fine." Mabel said happily.