Billford spoof

A day at the mall

It was a year since weirdmageddon. Bill stumbled through the woods, he had been doing so for about three days. He was cold and tired and all his powers were gone. He felt small too. He rubbed his eye and dusted his hat. "Alright," he told himself, "Just because your powers are gone doesn't mean you're any different. I'm still talking to myself so that hasn't changed." It was getting darker by the second when suddenly he heard a familiar sound. Children laughing, and it wasn't just any children, it was Dipper and Mabel. He walked up to the door of the mystery shack and a wave of dizziness flowed through him. He was nervous to knock but he was desperate. He was soaking as it had been raining earlier and his top hat flopped back. Finally he plucked up some courage and knocked. It was Mabel who answered. "Hello?" She called, unable to see anyone. "Down here." Said Bill rather meekly. Mabel looked down at the little triangle for a few seconds, eyes wide, then yelled at the the top of her voice, "GUYS! BILL!? H-HERE! NOW!" Unable to find the words.

Soon enough,  Dipper, Stan and Wendy were standing with Mabel, looking down at Bill who was trying to hide his embarrassment caused by looking so pathetic in front of the people who he wanted to think of him as a mighty demon and failing miserably. All of a sudden, Soos came bolting down the corridor yelling, "DUDES! THERES A BAT IN THE KITCHEN AGAIN! IT FLEW INTO MY FACE!" And swinging a baseball bat around above his head. Bill yelped in fright and lept backwards as Soos crashed into Wendy who fell into Dipper who came crashing down into a potted plant screaming like a little kid. Mabel leaped to one side to avoid the potted plant falling on her just as Stan tripped over Wendy and fell into her. The potted plant smashed and Bill let out a scream as bits of pottery skidded across the floor. Suddenly Ford stepped out from behind the vending machine and looked around completely bewildered. "What did I miss this time?" He groaned. Stan stood up and stretched his back. "Please tell me that the triangle isn't going to try to take over the world again." He wined.

Ford noticed Bill and his eyes widened. "B-Bill?!" He stuttered. He scanned Bill from head to toe. He wasn't floating which made him a lot less scary and even kind of cute. "How did you even get back here?!" Ford exclaimed.
"It was axolotl." Bill began, "The ancient power. He returned me exactly a year after weirdmageddon but as a punishment all my powers are gone." Wendy groaned and pulled a piece of pottery out of her hair. "What just happened?" Asked Mabel with a few sequins from her top on the floor around her. "I have no idea." Replied Stan, looking around at the mess and broken baseball bat lying on the floor. Bill sighed. "...I just really need a place to stay... I'm powerless- and I can't survive out here alone." Bill started to feel the dizziness again but managed to stay standing.

"Why did you come here though?" Dipper asked with a mixture of curiosity and anger. "You know that you tried to kill us all, right." He said, raising an eyebrow. "...I know.. and I'm sorry. I came here because it was the closest place I could find.. I can't walk much with these tiny legs and I think I've caught a cold." Bill protested, a tiny blush forming below his eye. "And I hate to break it to you guys," he began, "but I think I'm going to pass out." Bill fell to his knees and his eye started to spin in circles. Mabel and Ford got down beside him and Ford caught him with minimal effort as he fell forward and his eye lid flicked then closed.

Mabel looked at the little triangle out cold in Ford arms and said, "You know, I think he might be telling the truth!" Her eyes full of pity. "Besides- it's been a whole year since weirdmageddon.. and he needs our help."
"Mabel!" Dipper half said half shouted, "He could be tricking us again!" Looking at Bill in disbelief. He could never trust that evil triangle. "Do you really think he would be unconscious and walking on the ground if he still had powers?!" She snapped back. Dipper thought for a second and scratched his head. He had to admit, she had a point.

"He can stay." Said Ford, all eyes on him now. "But he has to be in my room because it has security and being supervised 24/7!" Mabel closed the door to the mystery shack. "You know, I'm actually curious to see how Bill does without his powers!" The twins laughed. Mabel stood up happily with a grin on her face and chirped, "I'm going to go make Bill a bed!" She skipped of down the hallway and Ford looked at Bill. He wasn't so bad when he wasn't trying to kill everyone.