Write & Wrong

Teenage Girls = hella Confusing.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND IRONY:

I am a teenage girl, but I hate teenage girls. Don't doubt my teenage-girl-ness just because I'm ranting about teenage girls. The phrase "teenage girls" is suddenly very redundant. Let us continue.

Remember Mean Girls? It's fairly self-explanatory. Girls be mean.

Teenage girls can be some of the most vicious, violent, thirsty-ass-hoes that I have ever come across. Being in a predominantly female school, I am constantly surrounded by girls (any boy in sight is either gay or being hounded by desperate females). I have had a shortage of male interaction and a surplus of female interaction, and let's just say, things can get weird.

In my Creative Writing department, there are 2 freshman boys out of the 35 to 40-person freshman class. You can already imagine the sort of things that go on within our conversations. But in the older students, they all sort of go, "ew," and walk by if a group of my friends and I are huddled together.

This literally happened once. *rant intensifies*

My school is 60 percent outdoors. All of the hallways are outside. So when it rains, the hallways literally flood. The small lowered section near the cafeteria that the seniors hang out in becomes a swimming pool. 

My friends and I usually sit in the hallway, but because we'd be soaked up to our waists (not literally, calm down) had we sat down, we tried to eat standing up. Everything was fine, we were talking, laughing, my friend dropped shrimp sauce on my shoe, all was normal. Then the Bitch-storm arrived.

Some complete and utter bitch goes up to my friend while we were all chatting. We were a decent sized group, and we unknowingly took up most of the hallway. The Bitch and her bitch-ass friend were trying to get by.

Bitch: "Uh, excuse me..."

Friend: "Oh, uh, sorr--" *begins to attempt to move*

Bitch: "...Fucking move, please."

This shut everybody up. This damn ho just flicks her wrist and begins to push people out of the way. I was tempted to take her stupid little Ugg boots and shove them up her ass. So she takes her friend and struts down the hall and turns a corner. We're all kind of looking at each other like, "Uh, did that just happen? She couldn't just say 'excuse me, I need to get by'?" My friend begins to talk about what bitch-ass-ho was saying to her, and of course, what did I see out of the corner of my eye?

That girl's fucking regrowth waving at me from the end of the hallway as she poked her head back out to watch us. She was watching us. She literally waited at the corner of the hallway to hear us talk about her. 

I had no idea what was up with this bitch. (Perhaps Satan was trying to possess her through period cramps?) Not only that, but she was a fellow Creative Writer! Like, c'mon man, we're all in this together; why you gotta be like dat? We're like family here, we don't do that here.

Speaking of Satan-period, girls are hella scary when they're on their period. This is coming from a girl. I know how a period works, I know what's going on, I know that it can be a week-long game of "If I say I hate you, how long will you wait around for me to randomly start crying?" 

But when you're in a group full of girls as large as mine, everyone begins to sync up.

Everyone.

The, like, 12 boys in my department are confused as hell when four girls are huddled in the corner clutching their stomachs, six are crying in the bathroom, and another seven are yelling at each other. My writing teachers, all female, sort of just keep on the down low, like, "All right, let's keep the shitstorm to a minimum, yeah?"

It's a week of hell.

When girls aren't on their period, they can still be super bitchy. There was once a full-on fight in the hallway between two juniors in my department. A friend of mine was trying to break them up. They were mauling each other. Girls were thrown into lockers, words were spat back and forth; I heard a few punches were thrown as well. It was because one girl said the other girl didn't have any friends. Wha? It was something like, "You're so stupid, you don't have any friends, I will proceed to throw you at this locker." I just thought, "Why? Why waste your time on someone who you think is worthless? If they're truly 'worthless,' why are you spending energy to tell them so?"

It's stupid. Teenage girls are just insecure because everyone is better/worse than them at the same time.

That's the thing, though. All teenage girls are insecure, and thus, have different ways of venting their emotions. Some try to "better themselves" through sex, some are bullies, and some post rants on Wattpad (lol no). And then there are girls who complain about everything they're sad about.

Like, yes, we know you're upset. WE ALL KNOW YOU'RE UPSET ABOUT EVERYTHING. Just calm down and take a bubble bath for fuck's sake. 

This rant isn't too organized, but 21st century girls are horrible. The generic things that girls do really confuse me, and that's saying something, as I am clearly female.

There's the whole *takes mirror selfie in a cheap excuse to get you to look at my body*. Like, if I got some kick-ass shoes, I would wear my shoes and just take a picture of them. But teenage girls can get away with showing off their new shoes through a full-length-mirror selfie. Like, "I'm wearing tight/revealing clothing but don't notice that because MY NEW SHOES OMG OMG OMG DYING YES I LOVE THESE SHOES YES."

It's, like, stupid. Completely ridiculous. You may fool the ignorant, but you ain't foolin' me, ho. No way.

I know this is also ironic, but girls who say "like" after every other word annoy me so much. I know I sort of say "...,like,..." every now and then throughout my rants, but that's sort of just to add character/realism/casual atmosphere and such. But some girls are just sort of, "Well, like, I sort of, like, do this, like, really well, like, they, like, hardly notice that I'm, like, actually to trying to get them to, like, look at my body while saying, like, 'omg, like, look at my new shoes.'"

IT PAINED ME TO WRITE THAT. I'M SORRY.

In sixth grade, there was this really ditsy girl in my science class who thought she was the complete and utter shit. When the teacher called on her to answer a question, I counted her saying "like" 24 times. This was roughly (what should've been) two sentences. Really? I was just, "Holy crap, man, you a-lackin' some serious vocab."

Girls, remember to think about how much you "like." It would do people a serious favor. Por favor.

To my lovely lady readers: remember to tone down the inner bitch (we all have one, of course), and for the few who might apply to this, tone down that outer bitch, too. Also, remember to go easy on the males when you're on your period. They're not that bad.

And you're not alone in this battle against insecurity, honey. Most, if not all, of us girls are fighting the same fight. Just try not to do something you'd regret in an attempt to build up confidence.

And don't complain too much, either. (lol irony)

{apologies for this rant's somewhat disorganization. Also, I want to thank you all for 200+ and still growing reads. It means a shitton to me. c:}

vote if teenage girls are hella confusing