Times Cruel Love

03 There's a hell in heaven

   They say love can be the most powerful emotion a human can have. I say its an emotion that can bring out the pain and suffering of other emotions and can sometimes change a persons way of thinking if strong enough. For some of us we get over the painful grief and move on but others like me fall into a endless pit of misery. What comes with this pain is the overwhelming point of optimists who tell you its 'its better to love and lost then not love at all' but in that case i rather be alone then to get hurt. Its true when love can hurt the most in life but after that the real emotions wake and begin to change you'r thoughts. I have seen many who try to fight these emotions but being human, they cannot change and therefor block themselves. They turn into monsters believing its alright to and some cling to hope rather then letting your monsters and demons win. For myself iv been given a box full of darkness and in time, mostly years i have found out that it was just another gift. One moment you can have the world and then time would stop your heart would freeze and all you would think about would in no time make sense to anyone else. The human mind is a very scary place and without the heart its a place no man or women should sink into. One of the things i'm only capable of thinking is that iv been born alone i will live alone and in due time die alone. Its like a mirror in the mind once there's only darkness you will find yourself staring yourself down in that mirror and you wont like what you will be forced to see. To think that after what you will see in time, you will try to move away from those with beating hearts and force you human ways down into your bottomless pit. Soon you will see nothing but a shallow grey and people will soon fade you will only hear small voices. Then to think you'r getting away you will find some will stand out with similar problems like yours. Those hurt souls will soon only be the people you can see and get near too.Some will cover there pain in a stretched out smile and you will only think 'cover you pain with false happiness and you will be more easy to break. Many of us begin to think that once we are broken and left lying on the ground in our most deepest thought we cannot rise but if someone us start to wander in that darkness we will start to see our heaven in our hell.