Hands Of Time | Ezria

Chapter Nineteen

EZRAS POV

This was the day. The day my life depended on a scan. I had a horrible feeling that it would go terribly wrong, and it'd light up at least somewhere. It'd leave Aria heartbroken. That was the scariest thing. Aria. I didn't give a shit if I got cancer, but the only thing I care about is Aria. If it ended up not the way we planned, who knows what'd happen. She'd return to my carer. But I hated that. Why couldn't we be a normal couple? No complications, no illnesses. Just a happy, normal couple. Because believe me, if it wasn't for this, we'd be married. She's only Eighteen. She shouldn't be involved in my problems. She's been put through so much already.

If this stupid scan didn't light up, and I'd be free. Wow. That'd be amazing. More than amazing. Life changing. No more cancer, for good. No more complications. No more tears, compared to what there is now, anyway. We'd be normal, at least. We could kiss without worrying I wouldn't pass out or something. I could wake up in the morning, with her by my side, huddled next to me, not anxiously waiting for a stabbing pain in my back. I could give her things that other people could give her.

These thoughts surrounded me. I didn't care about my health. I cared about Aria. When I was sick, Aria ran around everywhere, getting me things I needed, which I could get myself if I wasn't sick. I hated Aria running around after me. I felt weak. It wasn't fair on her. It wasn't fair on me. It wasn't fair on us. Our whole relationship would rely on this result. Hearing Aria cry is the worst possible sound, but hearing her laugh is the most treasured sound. It quickly became my favorite sound. Because when she laughed, the whole world seemed a little less dark, a little less frightening. And whenever she kissed me, she blossomed like a flower. She was the girl of my dreams, and I was being incredibly selfish.

Including her in my life problems, that was selfish. I felt endlessly guilty. Having her worry about me wasn't fair on her. She shouldn't have to be put through all of this, she was only eighteen for gods sake. Why? Why, I ask? She would be better off without me, without my problems.

At eighteen she should be worrying about college and grades. Not you cancerous boyfriend, who you had to run around after endlessly.

For I'm saying our lives depended on this result, because if it didn't end up with me having...an illness, then this all would be the opposite. She would be thinking about college and grades, she wouldn't run after me all the time. And this was the thing I wanted the most. Most people want food, water, money, a decent house, but I'd give all that up just for Aria.

I wouldn't care if i ended up on the streets, but knowing Aria would be with me, I would no doubt be the happiest man alive.

But here I was. Sat in a deathly, cold waiting room, waiting for my name to be called into the result room. I'd took the test a few hours prior, and when Doctor Thatcher handed me the results, I'd open it up, and there would my answer for life lay.

"Ezra Fitz," A young woman called.

This was it. Honestly, I was shaking. Apparently men who cry are wimps, but Aria always said 'real men cry,' which never failed to make me laugh.

I raised my limp hand and headed into the room, which smelt faintly of hospital moisturizer. Doctor Thatcher looked into my eyes, and cracked a smile. But I could tell he was forcing it.

"So Ezra, as you know, your PET scan," He said, but I cut him off.

"Yes, yes I remember it fine. Just hand me the result," I spat. I sounded angry. I was angry.

He nodded, and handed me a picture. Instead of a written result, a picture. Would be easier to understand, though, I thought.

I unfolded the image with great caution. I wasn't ready, but I craved this.

"We could leave Rosewood, live in Europe," Aria whispered into my ear, her hands intertwined with mine. I laughed, and nodded my head in agreement. As I always said, Aria was very big on happy endings.
"Whatever you want, we could even move to Australia," I replied, and she giggled, playing with my fingers.

"No no no, I know!" She squealed.
"Oooo, where?"
"Amsterdam!" She replied, and she looked at me, hope fulfilling her eyes.

"Amsterdam sounds perfect. I'd move heaven and earth for you, you know that, right?" I stated, and she snuggled her head into my chest.
"I know. You tell me endlessly," she mumbled, a big smile plastered on her face.

I walked out the hospital, the image of the result stuffed in my satchel. I was going to meet Aria. We made plans to meet earlier, but I needed to see her as soon as possible.

I dialed her instead of text. It'd be quicker, I thought.

On the second ring, her beautiful voice answered on the end of the line.

"Ezra?" She breathed.

"Can we talk?" I almost whispered.

"How did it go?" She whimpered.

"I'm going to tell you face to face," I replied, and I could almost feel her nod. We made plans to meet on the bench just by the river at the edge of Rosewood. Me and Aria used to go here regularly, and it was one of our desired spots.

I waited and waited. And waited. And waited. Time seemed to go so slow when your not with the one you love.

"Hey," a voice cracked behind me.

She had worry in her eyes, and a sniff in her voice. I could tell she expected the worst.

She sat down, clutching my hand, and when I was sure nobody was listening, I started.

"Right before I went I felt an ache in my leg,"

And at that moment, Aria clenched her eyes shut, and I witnessed a small tear fall down her cheek.

I wiped it away with my thumb, and no matter how much I didn't want to tell her this, I had to. We made a promise to be honest, and that was all I had left. Honesty.

"So I went to the PET scan, as you know..." I trailed off.

She looked at me, her hazel eyes glaring into mine. I could get lost in her eyes.

"And it lit up like a Christmas tree," I choked. And that's when the most terrifying sound broke out. Her crying. Tears streamed down her face, and mine. I held her, tight, as she soaked my T-Shirt with her red hot tears.

"One in my liver, my chest, my heart. Everywhere," I said, tapping my body where they were. She choked and looked up.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "Apparently the world is not a wish granting factory," I tried to struggle out a very slight laugh, but it was impossible.

She held me, squeezed me, and rested her forehead on my shoulder as we cried. A few tears escaped my eyes at the thought of her. Not the cancer. About Aria. Seeing her cry was the most painful thing of all. Forget being shot, seeing her cry was like a million people were sticking knives into my body, and I was unable to escape.