A/N: Mentions of Self-Harm & Suicide
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-Bambi's POV-
Pan put me back in the cage, but I could careless. I wish he would just kill me already. Seeing that man....Balefire.....Neal brought up the horrible thing I did all those years ago. All those years ago on that stormy day....thunder booms in the distance bringing back the memories I've tried so hard to suppress
-It's all your fault
-you monster
Shut up.
-your fault
-because of you
Shut up!
-he would still be here
-your fault
"Shut up!" I scream, I scare myself. No the voices they're back. No no no! They can't be! I went through all those shocks to make them go away! All those drugs! All those needles! I wrap my arms around myself and rock back and forth. I'm not crazy! It's not my fault! It...it is my fault. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry daddy! I'm a monster. I dig my nails into the skin on my arms. I deserve this! I don't deserve anyone! I don't cause it's my fault. My father is dead and it's my fault.
My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault.
"Bambi?" I hear someone say softly. No, I know this trick! There's no one there it's just my mind playing with me! I dig my nails harder into my skin as I bite into my arm. "Bambi stop! You're hurting yourself!" I can faintly make out a voice but I can't hear anything, it's so fuzzy. I feel someone moving me but I don't care. Dad is dead and it's my fault, my mother married a new asshole of a man and it's my fault. My mother and Step-Father abused me for years and it's my fault. "My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault." I mumble.
-Pan's POV-
I'm walking past Bambi's cage when I hear her scream shut up. "Excuse me!?" I ask, ripping the door off the cage. I'm taken back by what I see, she's in a ball in the corner, her face dripping wet with tears, her body trembling, her nails are digging into her arms and they're drawing blood. "Bambi?" I say softly crouching to her level. I watch her nails dig further into her skin. "Bambi stop! You're hurting yourself!" I say, gently dragging her out of the cage. She starts mumbling the words my fault repeatedly. "Bambi." I say again but she shows no sign of hearing me. Her eyes are clouded over with something I can't place. What do I do? I don't know what to do. For the first time in so long I feel weak. "I'm sorry." I say, my voice shaking, I feel pathetic, but all I can do is apologize. Isn't there something I can do for her?
A thought comes to mind but will it work? I haven't done that in years! I look at the broken ball of a girl. It's worth a shot.
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-Bambi's POV-
Flashbacks of that day keep running through my mind on a loop. Pouring rain. Booming thunder. Cracking Lightning.
-Kill yourself
-Do it monster
-You deserve death
My mind becomes clearer as I think about suicide. "I should kill myself, I don't deserve to live after-all. No one would miss me." I mumble not knowing I wasn't alone. I feel two arms wrap around me. "Don't you dare! Do you hear me?!" a familiar voice growls. The arms squeeze tighter around me but it's not painful.....it's nice. "I would miss you. Felix would miss you. The Lost Boys would miss you. I would miss you!" The British voice said......wait Pan? I turn in the arms to see Pan.
"Pan....what?" I question "You were screaming and crying! And cheating!" he cries out, wait he's crying.....did he say cheating? "Cheating?" I ask "You're slowly infecting my mind." he whispers staring at me with his glossy green eyes. "What does that mean?" I ask confused "It means it's time for you to sleep" He says as everything goes black.
-Pan's POV-
I carry a sleeping Bambi back to camp. This feels like Deja Vu but I guess it was my fault this time. I put a sleeping spell on her. That was close she almost made me talk, what's wrong with me? I can't love her, love is for the weak. Also I should feel like a creeper I am a great-grand-father after all. But I never want to see her like I did earlier. I wonder what she went through, seeing that only made me more curious about my toy. "Dad..." she mumbles in her sleep.
"I'm sorry I killed you." she says shocking me. I lay her on my bed and bite my nail. She killed her father? No way. How? It can't be. Not Bambi. I've got to the bottom of her story.
The Neverland sky clouds over as a Thunderstorm begins.
