guilt | o.sh

➳ twenty one

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UNEDITED

sehun closes his eyes as he feels his warm tears begin to flood his face, feelings a mixture of both grief and relief erupting in his chest.

"i killed her" he breathes as he reopens his eyes, only to meet nothing but the darkness of the night. the air around him feels heavy and suffocating but he tries to brush it off. scanning his surroundings, he realizes that he's back in his own living room and is sitting at the head of his dining table.

"i stood up for you" he hears a voice softly say from behind him, disappointment evident in it. sehun turns his head to see who the voice belongs to, coming face to face with no other but baekhyun. disappointment can be read all over his face as he gazes down at sehun. "i feel bad for arguing with chanyeol over you"

sehun opens his mouth to ask him how he got into his house but another voice cuts him off.

"i thought we were best friends" jongdae's figure appears from up the stairs as he softly drags his feet down the steps. "i guess not" sehun quickly gets up from his seat and heads for the stairs.

"so it was true, she was lying on your porch" chanyeol's voice rings, making sehun turn his gaze back to the other end of the table, where he sees his friend lazily slumped in his chair. "poor me, no one believed what i said"

"how-" sehun attempts to question but he's unable to finish his sentence ones again. the sound of a shutting cupboard echoes in the living room. sehun steps down from the step and hesitantly walks into his kitchen where he notices jongin sitting with his feet dangling in the air.

"you were the only one i trusted with my problems" his voice sounds so soft to sehun's ears. "i wish i didn't"

stop.

shaking his head frantically, sehun takes a deep breath in as he walks towards his couch area, trying his best to ignore the sorrowful voices of his friends.

"i guess i shouldn't have made fun of you" sehun hears from behind him as he plops on his couch. turning his head, he notices kyungsoo shrugging while taking a seat next to chanyeol. "i didn't know you'd get so mad to the point of killing me"

"i didn't-"

"ah" a voice that sehun is sure belongs to minseok sighs from next to him. afraid to fully turn his head, sehun slightly peeks at the couch next to his, spotting his friend's body lazily spread on it. "i wonder how yixing reacted"

"stop it" sehun mutters through his teeth as he furiously gets up from his seat and storms up the stairs. he can hear his own heart pound violently against his chest as he grips tightly onto the handle bar, making his way up the steps and into his bedroom.

slamming his door shut, he exhales slowly as he slides down on his back. he feels the familiar stinging sensation make a return to his blood-shot eyes, the voices of his friends repeatedly echoing in his ears.

"what the hell is going on?" he whispers as he feels warm tears begin to stream down his face, his voice croaking over the lump in his throat. "what the hell did i do to them?"

the faces of his friends pop up in his mind one by one, they're all expressionless but sehun can't help but notice the sight hint of disappointment in them.

"you did it on purpose, didn't you?" a soft but stern voice brings his attention back to reality. lifting his gaze from off the floor, his eyes meet those of yixing's lifeless-looking ones. "i didn't know you hated me that much"

"get out" sehun orders and as if on cue, yixing disappears from his sight but instead, a furious junmyeon appears in his place.

"you have no shame" he screams, his deafening voice echoing throughout sehun's bedroom, making the boy himself jump. "you betrayed all of us"

"shut up, shut up!" sehun yells at the top of his lungs as he shoots up from his balled up position and charges at junmyeon but his tightened fist goes right through his cheek.

puzzled, he frantically looks down at his hand and looks back up but this time his eyes meet no one else's. sehun stands confused in the middle of his room, his mind running with all sorts of thoughts.

"m-mommy" a voice breaks him out of his thoughts, a feeling of fear creeping up from the back of his mind. "please"

sehun doesn't even have to make sure, he's positive that the voice is coming from his backyard. unwilling to waste any time, he yanks the door open and sprints out of his room, towards the back entrance door.

completely ignoring the fact that none of his friends are present in his living room anymore, he swings the door open only to come face to face with no one other than his own mother.

"m-" he tries to mumble but he feels his tongue go numb as soon as he feels her cold fingers wrap loosely around his wrist, pulling it upwards and placing it on something.

his eyes slowly travel down his arm and he almost feels his heart stop once they stop on a lighter. more confused than ever, he looks back up to his mother, silently begging for answers.

"this is your last punishment for-" she pauses as she looks down onto sehun's other hand. "ever"

"w-what?" he stutters, his gaze unconsciously leaving his mother's eyes and landing on a bucket that he's clutched tightly in his hand.

drip, drop.

the sound of dripping echoes in sehun's ears as he watches drops of thick liquid fall onto the ground. his eyes follow the trail from his current position into the living room, all the way in the kitchen and around his dining table before traveling up the stairs.

"do it" she says, bringing his attention back to her. "do it!" she shrieks, too impatient to wait for his response.

"n-no" sehun manages to croak.

"drop i-" his mother is unable to finish her sentence as sehun releases his hold around the little lighter stick to send it falling to the ground.

not even a split second passes before roaring flames of fire begin to rise from beneath sehun's feet. sehun is only able to say one thing before breathing his last breath.

"help, they're all dead"

d