Krism Kills the Patriarchy

Chapter 1: Our Story Begins

"NO!!! NO!!! GODDAMNED SHIT MOTHERFUCKING HELL!!! CUUUUUUUUUNTS!!!"

It was another day in the Krinx Household.

"How's the game going, Hun?" Krism called as she worked on her comic in the living room. A weak whimper from the gaming room was Minx's only response. "Well, keep at it, Bebe!"

Krism smiled at the muffled groan that was Minx's reply before turning her attention to Pretzel, who had once again proven her dominance over all things tissue. With a sigh, she stood and picked the shredded remains of the puppy's victim up before disposing of them in the trash can with all the dignity that a dead tissue could have hoped for. She returned to the couch and to her comic as Pretzel diligently searched the house for any more paper products that could harm her mothers.

Their home wasn't the biggest, and it certainly wasn't the cleanest, but Krism wouldn't have traded her life with Minx for anything. While her wife did stress about money from time to time, Krism loved her for doing what made her happy. It wasn't a perfect life, but it was theirs. Krism stared at her comic, deep in thought, before a quiet voice brought her out of her musings.

"Kristen...Kristen, get in here!"

Krism glanced toward the gaming room, her brow furrowed. Minx never called her by name unless something was wrong. She got up and hurried to the gaming room, Pretzel following obediently at her heels.

"Bebe, what's wrong?" Krism asked, standing in the doorway. Minx sat hunched over the desk, staring at her computer screen in a mixture of horror and disbelief. The younger woman approached slowly, gently placing her hand on her wife's shoulder. "Bebe, what is it?"

"This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening..." Minx muttered, her eyes fixed and unblinking on the screen.

"Michelle, what's happening?" Krism asked, trying to keep the growing feeling of panic out of her voice. Years of being with Minx had more than prepared Krism for the occasional curve-ball in life, but this seemed different. Usually, when something happened, her wife would respond with rage and yelling before calming down into a funk. To see the taller woman sitting there so quietly...it was unsettling.

Minx leaned back in her chair, a look of defeat on her face. Krism could finally read the monitor, and her heart dropped like a stone into her stomach.

New Law Bans Female YouTubers/Streamers

Krism read the story with a growing sense of dread. A new law had been passed stating that only men could now own YouTube and Twitch channels. All female-owned channels were now demonetized.

Minx was out of a job.

"Oh, Michelle..." Krism trailed off as Minx hugged her tightly around the waist, burying her face in the shorter woman's stomach. Krism rested her hand on Minx's head, having no idea what to say. What could she say? A group of assholes living in mansions with no concept of the real world had passed a law that no one had asked for, and now a whole group of female creators were out of a job.

Krism hugged Minx tightly, her heart racing as she worried about what this would mean for them.

That night, Krism lay in bed and held an exhausted Minx. As she ran her hand through her wife's purple bangs, Krism began to scheme. Plenty of activists would protest the law. It would be plastered all over the media, a fervor would build on both sides, and eventually it would all be forgotten by the fickle public until a few months later, when a headline would run on a few news sites claiming that the law had been overturned. It would all be forgotten, and the few assholes who had passed the law in the first place would still be in power. Still able to screw with peoples' lives. Still able to pass laws that amounted to little more than a rancid fart on a piece of paper.

Krism had had enough.

She was done with the bullshit laws, the stupid cultural norms, and the idiotic people who perpetuated them. There was only one way to put an end to this dumbassery once and for all.

Krism was going to kill The Patriarchy.

Early the next morning, Krism woke and dressed in her adventuring clothes. She grabbed her trusty bat from its stand near the door, and mentally prepared for her journey. She felt a gentle nudge on her leg, and looked down to see Pretzel looking up at her with a hopeful face.

"No, Pretzel, you need to stay here. I need you to take care of Mummy for me...wait, what the FUCK?! I'M LEAVING MINX HERE?!?!"

Ummm...yeah. The Author replied, suddenly materializing out of thin air. That's what you do in fantasy adventures, you leave your loved one behind, so they can motivate you to return.

"That is FUCKING RETARDED!!! Minx is my wife, not some damsel for me to pine after, or whatever! I'm taking her with me!"

Wait, but...you can't take her! That's not how these stories work!

"FUCK YOU!!! MY WIFE IS COMING WITH ME!!!"

No, she is NOT! I'm The Author, and what I say goes!

Suddenly, Krism found herself standing on her front porch. She tried to open her front door, but it was locked tight and The Author had taken her key. Muttering about annoying authors and their constant need to keep her from Minx, Krism begrudgingly trudged down the path toward her as-yet-unknown destination.

"Okay," Krism sighed, "let's do this."